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Cycling is a healthier and more environmentally friendly form of transport Nevertheless cycling is getting less popular What are the reasons of this trend What can be done make cycling more popular v.1

Cycling is a healthier and more environmentally friendly form of transport Nevertheless cycling is getting less popular What are the reasons of this trend What can be done make cycling more popular v. 1
Better health is central to human happiness and well-being. Some people think that individuals should look after their own health, while others think that it is the government's responsibility to provide care to maintain citizens' health. This essay will discuss both views regarding the topic. First of all, Individuals owe the responsibility and the right to their own health. A competent person who has a capacity to make his or her own decision has the right to do so; therefore, no one can override a decision of such individual regarding medical decisions. While most of people concern their own physical and mental well-being and seek healthy lifestyles throughout their lifetime, some people will not listen to advice from medical professionals, or knowingly harm their own health by making wrong health choices. For example, smoking is well recognised as a significant risk factor for various diseases such as cancer, cardiovascular diseases and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Nonetheless, some smokers choose not to quit smoking, and no one can force him to change their behaviours. On the other hand, governments should promote a healthy society by implementing necessary interventions to empower citizens. If citizens are equipped with adequate health knowledge and skills, they are more likely to make a wise health decision. For example, this can be done by promoting healthy diet and exercise, as well as conducting routine medical screening for high risk populations. The government can collaborate with local communities and health care workers to educate people and assist them in looking after their own health. In conclusion, while governments can promote the health of their citizens by educating them about healthy behaviours and providing necessary medical checks for high population groups, it is finally the individuals' responsibility to decide what to do with their bodies, and they have the right to do so.
Better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is central to human happiness and well-being.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that individuals should look after their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's responsibility to provide care to maintain citizens'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This essay will discuss both views regarding the topic.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Individuals owe the responsibility and the right to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. A competent person who has a capacity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
has the right to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
;
therefore
, no one can override a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
of such individual regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. While most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
concern their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
physical and mental well-being and seek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyles throughout their lifetime,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not listen to advice from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
professionals, or
knowingly
harm their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
choices.
For example
, smoking is well
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
as a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
factor for various diseases such as cancer, cardiovascular diseases and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Nonetheless,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
smokers choose not to quit smoking, and no one can force him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should promote a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
society by implementing necessary interventions to empower citizens. If citizens
are equipped
with adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, they are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a wise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
.
For example
, this can
be done
by promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet and exercise,
as well
as conducting routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
screening for high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
populations. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can collaborate with local communities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care workers to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and assist them in looking after their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can promote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of their citizens by educating them about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and providing necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
for high population groups, it is
finally
the individuals' responsibility to decide what to do with their bodies, and they have the right to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Cycling is a healthier and more environmentally friendly form of transport Nevertheless cycling is getting less popular What are the reasons of this trend What can be done make cycling more popular v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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