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People aim to achieve the balance between their work and lives, but few people achieve it. What are the problems if people try to achieve this balance? How to overcome these problems? v. 1

It is true that not many people nowadays can achieve in balance between their work and their personal life. There are several reasons for this issue and a variety of ways can take into account to tackle this hard problem. People are busier nowadays than in the past because of two main reasons. Firstly, they need to work hard to cover their living costs or to become a good leader or expert in their fields. Placing too much emphasis on their career, they neglect their personal hobbies and their relationships gradually. For instance, it is the fact that people these days become more workaholic and they go to their workplace too early and stay there late. Moreover, even when they are at home they also check their emails relating to their work. Some people claim that they do not have extra time to do anything that they like, this is because work and housework make up approximately all their time so sport or cinema seems to be a luxury. From several reasons mentioned above, individuals can use some practical ways to address the off-balance between work and personal life. It is crucial to have a clear timetable for their work and their leisure activities. Instead of focusing a lot on career, people should spend time for their favorite hobbies or their beloved people. Besides, people can be less ambitious in their job to have more time for their relationships. For example, workers do not need to become the most productive person in their company by working a lot and do not have any extra time for their holiday or their family. In conclusion, it is difficult to succeed in attaining balance between work and lives because of lack of the clear timetable or skills in planning. However, people can solve this issue by less focus on their ambitious career and they need to know the way to control their time for their work and their lives.

IELTS essay People aim to achieve the balance between their work and lives, but few people achieve it. What are the problems if people try to achieve this balance? How to overcome these problems? v.1

It is true that not
many
people
nowadays can achieve in balance between their
work
and their personal life. There are several reasons for this issue and a variety of ways can take into account to tackle this
hard
problem.
People
are busier nowadays than in the past
because
of two main reasons.
Firstly
, they need to
work
hard
to cover their living costs or to become a
good
leader or expert in their fields. Placing too much emphasis on their career, they neglect their personal hobbies and their relationships
gradually
.
For instance
, it is the fact that
people
these days become more
workaholic and
they go to their workplace too early and stay there late.
Moreover
, even when they are at home they
also
check
their emails relating to their
work
.
Some
people
claim that they do not have extra
time
to do anything that they like, this is
because
work
and housework
make
up approximately all their
time
so
sport or cinema seems to be a luxury. From several reasons mentioned above, individuals can
use
some
practical ways to address the off-balance between
work
and personal life. It is crucial to have a
clear
timetable for their
work
and their leisure activities.
Instead
of focusing a lot on career,
people
should spend
time
for their favorite hobbies or their beloved
people
.
Besides
,
people
can be less ambitious in their job to have more
time
for their relationships.
For example
, workers do not need to become the most productive person in their
company
by working a lot and do not have any extra
time
for their holiday or their family.
In conclusion
, it is difficult to succeed in attaining balance between
work
and
lives
because
of lack of the
clear
timetable or
skills
in planning.
However
,
people
can solve this issue by less focus on their ambitious
career and
they need to know the way to control their
time
for their
work
and their
lives
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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