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People aim to achieve the balance between their work and lives. But few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problems? How to overcome it? v.3

Trying to make a balance between the job hours and Spare time, some people gain successful achievements in order to spend some quality time near the family. However It could be achievable in the mind, several problems such as being workaholic and expect more salary are here to consider. This article is going to share some recommendations to solve this issue. Although being workaholic is not an usual status, many of office workers suffer from the addiction which they even are not aware of that. An example could be thouse employees who have not any definition of holidays in their dictionary. They work countineousely until they will be retired. The main solution for these groups would be the support of family members. Furthermore the cross expectations of spouse and kids would be practical. In average, a good parent must take holidays into account for building a healthy relationship. More income you expect, more job hours you have to take. However life expenses are increasing each second, a human being should notice to it’s body, soul and the needs both of them have. An effecient mind required appropriate life style like enough excersice, healthy food, having fun and also communications. For instant, a worker who is busy with papers and projects have to take some additional classes such as sports, musics, arts or even going to vaccation could be a clue. To put it into a nutshell, creating a balance among all the activities in a day, not only make you live longer, but also help you to be happier.
Trying to
make
a balance between the job hours and

Spare time,
some
people
gain successful achievements in order to spend
some
quality time near the family.
However
It could be achievable in the mind, several problems such as being workaholic and
expect
more salary are here to consider. This article is going to share
some
recommendations to solve this issue.

Although being workaholic is not
an
usual status,
many
of office workers suffer from the addiction which they even are not aware of that. An example could
be thouse
employees who have not any definition of holidays in their dictionary. They work
countineousely
until they will
be retired
. The main solution for these groups would be the support of family members.
Furthermore
the cross expectations of spouse and kids would be practical. In average, a
good
parent
must
take holidays into account for building a healthy relationship.

More income you
expect
, more job hours you
have to
take.
However
life expenses are increasing each second, a human being should notice to it’s body, soul and the needs both of them have. An
effecient
mind required appropriate
life style
like
enough
excersice
, healthy food, having fun and
also
communications.

For instant, a worker who is busy with papers and projects
have to
take
some
additional classes such as sports, musics, arts or even going to
vaccation
could be a clue.

To put it into a nutshell, creating a balance among all the activities in a day, not
only
make
you
live
longer,
but
also
help
you to be happier.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people aim to create a balance between their work and other aspects of their life, however, only a few achieve it. What are the problems in doing this and what solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
259 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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