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People aim to achieve the balance between their work and lives. But few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problems? How to overcome it? v.4

People aim to achieve the balance between their work and lives. But few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problems? How to overcome it? v. 4
With the growing economy, we have seen a change in the lifestyle of people. In comparison to the past, the professional life of people nowadays has become more hectic. Although, some people work towards having a balance between their personal and professional life not all succeed at it. There are various causes such as, competitive job life and extensive use of technology at all odd hours which has created the imbalance. There are two main reasons why people are not able to balance their professional and personal life which are mainly due to the busy professional life and the extensive use of technology. With busy work, there are multiple deadlines that employees need to be met during the day, which can be very demanding. As a result, it could also lead to individuals working for a number of hours. Secondly, the advancement of technology. Most of the people with the help of technology, do most of their work even after reaching home. This intrudes their personal time with family. To illustrate, with easy access to emails, most of the employees are responding to mails even past their work hours. The lack of work life balance can be detrimental for their health and their family relations. On the other hand, there are some solutions such as taking regular vacations and limiting on the time spent at home doing office work. It is vital that the individual takes some time off with family. This will not only help him in creating a stronger bond, but will also help getting some mental relief and a break from their monotonous day to day life. In addition, some individuals should take measures on limiting on answering and responding to work emails and work calls at home. Moreover, the individual should spend and focus more time with their family once they arrive back from work. This would help the individuals to value the time and build their relations with their loved and dear ones. To conclude, though we all have hectic work life, it is important for us to have a personal and professional balance which will help us build a healthy relationship with our loved ones, as well as help us overcome from stress.
With the growing economy, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the lifestyle of
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people
.
In comparison
to the past, the
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professional
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life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays has become more hectic. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
towards having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
between their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
not all succeed at it. There are various causes such as, competitive job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and extensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
at all odd hours which has created the imbalance.

There are two main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which are
mainly
due to the busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and the extensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. With busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, there are multiple deadlines that employees need to
be met
during the day, which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
demanding.
As a result
, it could
also
lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
working for a number of hours.
Secondly
, the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, do most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
even after reaching home. This intrudes their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To illustrate, with easy access to emails, most of the employees are responding to mails even past their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
hours. The lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
can be detrimental for their health and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relations.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions such as taking regular vacations and limiting on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent at home doing office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. It is vital that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
off with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him in creating a stronger bond,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will
also
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help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to get" or "get".
getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental relief and a break from their monotonous
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
should take measures on limiting on answering and responding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
emails and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
calls at home.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should spend and focus more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
once they arrive back from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to value the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and build their relations with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
and dear ones.

To conclude
, though we all have hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us build a healthy relationship with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones,
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us overcome from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
60Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People aim to achieve the balance between their work and lives. But few people achieve it. What are the causes of the problems? How to overcome it? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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