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the only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

the only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offences. v. 1
Some people believe that giving much stricter sentences on traffic offences is the only way to improve road safety. In my opinion, I disagree with this statement as I think there are other effective measures that can also tackle this problem. On the one hand, imposing stricter punishments on traffic law-breakers could be seen as an effective way of road safety. This is because it may deter drivers from violating traffic laws regulations. In fact, some people, especially adults exceed the speed limit, leading to a lot of serious traffic accidents. Therefore, giving many stringent punishments should be enacted. Also, those who drive while intoxicated or using mobile phone deserve to be banned from the road. In recent years, Viet Nam has many heart-breaking traffic accidents due to the lack of awareness of drivers who use too much alcohol. If there are fewer drivers breaking traffic laws, the roads may become safer for all road users. On the other hand, there are other alternative measures which would also be effective. Authorities could, for example, install more surveillance and speed cameras to make potential law-breakers aware of the need to abide by speed limits. This measure is crucial in many cities as a way to keep people committing illegal actions. Another sustainable measure is upgrading the transportation infrastructures mainly because the low-quality state of roads and streets are the factor culprits of the occurrence of numerous traffic accidents. For instance, in Viet Nam, there are many people falling off when their motorbikes go over a big pot-hole. In conclusion, in order to enhance road safety, it is not enough to be tough on traffic crimes by punishing harshly those violating the law. Personally, to achieve the best results, the combination of the aforementioned ideas is the most effective strategy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that giving much stricter sentences on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety. In my opinion, I disagree with this statement as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
that can
also
tackle this problem.

On the one hand, imposing stricter punishments on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
law-breakers could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may deter drivers from violating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
laws regulations. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
adults exceed the speed limit, leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents.
Therefore
, giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
stringent punishments should
be enacted
.
Also
, those who drive while intoxicated or using mobile phone deserve to
be banned
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. In recent years,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
heart-breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents due to the lack of awareness of drivers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
too much alcohol. If there are fewer drivers breaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
laws, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
may become safer for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
users.

On the other hand
, there are other alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
which would
also
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
. Authorities could,
for example
, install more surveillance and speed cameras to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
potential law-breakers aware of the need to abide by speed limits. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
is crucial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities as a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
committing illegal actions. Another sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
is upgrading the transportation infrastructures
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the low-quality state of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and streets are the factor culprits of the occurrence of numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
accidents.
For instance
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
falling off when their motorbikes go over a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
pot-hole.

In conclusion
, in order to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety, it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be tough on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
crimes by punishing
harshly
those violating the law.
Personally
, to achieve the best results, the combination of the aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
strategy.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS essay the only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offences. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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