Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The obesity rates among teenagers have increased dramatically in many developed countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions. v.2

The obesity rates among teenagers have increased dramatically in many developed countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions. v. 2
In this day and age, overweight has become one of the major concerns among youngsters in affluent nations in the world. In fact, the numbers of obese juveniles are increasing remarkably day by day. This essay will discuss causes of increasing the weight rates and also the solutions that can be taken to mitigate the impact. To begin with, there are a myriad of reasons for the obesity. Besides, one of the most prominent one is that children are addicted to junk food and most of the times they are having unhealthy diets. For instance, According to a research finding, the percentage of burger, chips consumptions are higher among young people in developed countries. Undoubtedly, nowadays a lot of families have a sedentary life style and they do not have a time to do physical exercises thus it is also one of the probable cause for fatness. The most obvious way to solve the obesity problem in teenagers is to encourage them to have a healthy diet on a daily basis. In fact, it is parents’ responsibility to guide their children to have a good life style without having any healthy issues among them. For example, mothers can cook home food at their houses to motivate youngsters to eat. Moreover, it is better to discourage them playing computer games and encouraging to take regular exercise to alleviate the problem to some extent. In conclusion, children’s healths in developed countries are increasingly deteriorating by obesity; however, by taking some of the remedies will help to minimize the issue.
In this day and age, overweight has become one of the major concerns among youngsters in affluent nations in the world. In fact, the numbers of obese juveniles are increasing
remarkably
day by day. This essay will discuss causes of increasing the weight rates and
also
the solutions that can
be taken
to mitigate the impact.

To
begin
with, there are a
myriad
of reasons for the obesity.
Besides
, one of the most prominent one is that children
are addicted
to junk food and
most of the times
they are having unhealthy diets.
For instance
, According to a research finding, the percentage of burger, chips
consumptions
are higher among young
people
in
developed countries
.
Undoubtedly
, nowadays
a lot of
families have a sedentary life
style and
they do not have a time to do physical exercises
thus
it is
also
one of the probable cause for fatness.

The most obvious way to solve the obesity problem in
teenagers
is to encourage them to have a healthy diet on a daily basis. In fact, it is parents’ responsibility to guide their children to have a
good
life style without having any healthy issues among them.
For example
, mothers can cook home food at their
houses
to motivate youngsters to eat.
Moreover
, it is better to discourage them playing computer games and encouraging
to take
regular exercise to alleviate the problem to
some
extent.

In conclusion
, children’s
healths
in
developed countries
are
increasingly
deteriorating by obesity;
however
, by taking
some of the
remedies will
help
to minimize the issue.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The obesity rates among teenagers have increased dramatically in many developed countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts