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Part 3. 6 - Group WorkThe geology department is aware of the problems surrounding of group work, and its unpopularity among students. We realize that in some cases students do not contribute and thus gain marks they do not deserve, while stronger students v.1

Part 3. 6 - Group WorkThe geology department is aware of the problems surrounding of group work, and its unpopularity among students. We realize that in some cases students do not contribute and thus gain marks they do not deserve, while stronger students v. 1
There are different views about whether governments should only focus on the teaching of science subjects to help their countries develop. While I accept that concentrating on these subjects brings about benefits, I would argue that it is better not to neglect other subjects. For a variety of reasons, I agree that the focus on teaching science-related subjects helps a country progress. Firstly, many of the scientific breakthroughs rely heavily on in-depth knowledge of mathematics, physics and chemistry. For example, in the field of medicine, scientists need a great knowledge of chemistry to do research and invent new drugs. The teaching quality of these subjects should therefore be continuously improved. Secondly, when students study science subjects, they need to find solutions to a wide range of different problems, which can encourage their creativity and imagination. Such capabilities play an Important role in coming up with technological innovations, [and these advances help a country gain a competitive edge over other nations. Despite the above arguments, it seems to me that students should also pay attention to other subjects. In the era of globalisation, international trade significantly contributes to the development of a country. It is nearly impossible to engage in trading activities with other countries if language barriers exist. This means that the government needs to invest in the teaching of foreign languages, in Singapore, for instance, most people can speak English fluently because the school curriculum focuses largely on this subject. Since Singaporean people are able to work with people from abroad, the country attracts many investments from other parts of the world. In conclusion, while I agree that government spending on teaching science subjects helps a country progress, I believe that teaching subjects such as foreign languages is also necessary.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
of science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
develop. While I accept that concentrating on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
brings about benefits, I would argue that it is better not to neglect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects.

For a variety of reasons, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
science-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
progress.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the scientific breakthroughs rely
heavily
on in-depth knowledge of mathematics, physics and chemistry.
For example
, in the field of medicine, scientists need a great knowledge of chemistry to do research and invent new drugs. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
quality of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
therefore
be
continuously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.
Secondly
, when students study science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, they need to find solutions to a wide range of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems, which can encourage their creativity and imagination. Such capabilities play
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
an


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Important
role in coming up with technological innovations,
Unpaired symbol: ']' seems to be missing
[
and these advances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
gain a competitive edge over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations.

Despite the above arguments, it seems to me that students should
also
pay attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. In the era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, international trade
significantly
contributes to the development of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is
nearly
impossible to engage in trading activities with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
if language barriers exist. This means that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to invest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
of foreign languages, in Singapore,
for instance
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can speak English
fluently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the school curriculum focuses
largely
on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. Since Singaporean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to work with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from abroad, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
investments from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the world.

In conclusion
, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
progress, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as foreign languages is
also
necessary.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Part 3. 6 - Group WorkThe geology department is aware of the problems surrounding of group work, and its unpopularity among students. We realize that in some cases students do not contribute and thus gain marks they do not deserve, while stronger students v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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