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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.34

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 34
Nowadays, there is no difference between schools as well as home for learning to be a good member of society. In this way, some individuals reckon that parents ought to be taught to their youngsters how to be good members of the community. However, others opine that academic institutions are a good place for learning. Therefore, the upcoming paragraphs will not only examine both viewpoints, but also own opinion. To embark with, those laymen who think that parents should teach to their toddlers. First of all, parents are first tutor who teaches many things such as how to live with friends and others in a community. To cite an example, parents do not only teach to children, but also how to maintain discipline in the society, which can be beneficial for offspring to be a good member of society. On the contrary, some people believe that school is the best place for students. First and foremost step is that, as we know that a child is spending most of the time in school for education. The child not only learns useful skills, but also gets a chance to make new friends. Apart from it, schools, organizes competitions from time to time. Students take participates in it and get opportunity work in a team of learning together. Likewise, children are not only learnt how to cooperate but also shared things with friends. To conclude, although all places are best of learning for children, yet university and home is better to be a good representative in civilization rather than others places. I think that both academy as well as parents are being played significant role for their offspring to be a good member in the community.
Nowadays, there is no difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as well
as home for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of society. In this way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
ought to
be taught
to their youngsters how to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the community.
However
, others opine that academic institutions are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
Therefore
, the upcoming paragraphs will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
examine both viewpoints,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

To embark with, those laymen who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should teach to their toddlers.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
first
tutor who teaches
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things such as how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
in a community. To cite an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
teach to children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
how to maintain discipline in the society, which can be beneficial for offspring to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of society.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for students.
First
and foremost step is that, as we know that a child is spending most of the time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for education. The child not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
learns useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends. Apart from it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, organizes competitions from time to time. Students take participates in it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunity work in a team of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
together.
Likewise
, children are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
how to cooperate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
shared things with friends.

To conclude
, although all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are best of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
for children,
yet
university and home is better to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
representative in civilization
rather
than others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that both academy
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
being played
significant role for their offspring to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
in the community.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 34

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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