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Many people believe that big businesses in addition to generating profits should be involved in and responsible for the social life of the community. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion. v.3

Many people believe that big businesses in addition to generating profits should be involved in and responsible for the social life of the community. Give your opinion. v. 3
Large companies have always attempted to come into money; however, the issue of businesses' social compulsory responsibilities is a controversial issue among people. Personally, I entirely agree with the viewpoint that businesses have to do more for the community than make money, and I will explain why in this essay. If large companies should take participate in social life in society, by fair and impartial looking, it could have some two-way profits for both businesses and the communities. This is the fundamental idea which its reasons are categorized into three main parts. First, Since people might not apprehend that all large companies are run with the sole purpose of marketing as much advantage as possible for their own, businesses could gain people's trust and foster them to invest their money in their projects. As an example, companies could replace their prioritization from economic growth with gaining people's satisfaction. Second, marketing development is the other advantageous consequence. It is notable, for instance, that it could offer a chance for discovering young people's talents who could not be a going concern on their own. Since businesses have to emphasize innovation and creativity in order to survive in a competitive world, they could hire talented young people, which is profitable for both sides. Third, it is generally accepted that thriving the community is imperative for a successful business. In other words, it seems that most of the prosperous activities flourish in a bustling atmosphere. So, if large companies are involved in society, they could indirectly create effective circumstances for their companies' future of business. In summary, it might be said that expecting social obligations for large businesses in society is unacceptable because it is the government's responsibility for social supports, and companies should not take charge of it. However, it seems that the effects of this approach appear to be overwhelmingly positive, and its two-way beneficial impacts of the large companies and the communities are undeniable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have always attempted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into money;
however
, the issue of businesses'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
compulsory responsibilities is a controversial issue among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Personally
, I
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the viewpoint that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do more for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money, and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why in this essay.

If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should take participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life in society, by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and impartial looking, it could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
two-way profits for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
. This is the fundamental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
which its reasons
are categorized
into three main parts.
First
, Since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might not apprehend that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are run
with the sole purpose of marketing as much advantage as possible for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
could gain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's trust and foster them to invest their money in their projects. As an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
could replace their prioritization from economic growth with gaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's satisfaction.

Second, marketing development is the other advantageous consequence. It is notable,
for instance
, that it could offer a chance for discovering young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's talents who could not be a going concern on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
emphasize innovation and creativity in order to survive in a competitive world, they could hire talented young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which is profitable for both sides. Third, it is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that thriving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
is imperative for a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
In other words
, it seems that most of the prosperous activities flourish in a bustling atmosphere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are involved
in society, they could
indirectly
create effective circumstances for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
' future of business.

In summary, it might
be said
that expecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
obligations for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
in society is unacceptable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's responsibility for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
supports, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should not take charge of it.
However
, it seems that the effects of this approach appear to be
overwhelmingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
, and its two-way beneficial impacts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
are undeniable.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that big businesses in addition to generating profits should be involved in and responsible for the social life of the community. Give your opinion. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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