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Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.4

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. with this statement? v. 4
Many people believe that parents of children who attend to private schools, should not need to pay taxes to state education. I do not agree with this view and I believe that this could generate problems. For a variety of reasons, it would be wrong to apply specific policies. Firstly, it would be difficult to calculate the correct amount of tax reduction for these families. Also, special staff only designated to this complex activity will be needed. Secondly, we all are paying a part of the total amount that supports state budget. In this way, many people are already contributing for services that maybe they would not use in the future, and they will not expect a discount for this situation. Furthermore, if people who send their children to paid-schools were given a discount, we might have a situation where poorer people would pay more than the rich. I believe that we all should be happy to pay our share of the amount that contributes to society. This would be beneficial to the population as long as it leads to have a high quality state education system with equal opportunities for all young people. Moreover, parents who prefer private education will also see the advantages of this action in their own lives. Indeed, companies` owners will need qualified and competent staff, and a well-funded education system can provide such employees. As long as competitive professionals are formed, better opportunities for a prosperous and developed nation will be. By way of conclusion, from my perspective, there should not be any financial concessions for people who choose private education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that parents of children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
attend to private schools, should not need to pay taxes to state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and I believe that this could generate problems.

For a variety of reasons, it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to apply specific policies.
Firstly
, it would be difficult to calculate the correct amount of tax reduction for these families.
Also
, special staff
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
designated to this complex activity will
be needed
.
Secondly
, we all are paying a part of the total amount that supports state budget. In this way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are already contributing for services that maybe they would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the future, and they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
a discount for this situation.
Furthermore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children to paid-schools were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a discount, we might have a situation where poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would pay more than the rich.

I believe that we all should be happy to pay our share of the amount that contributes to society. This would be beneficial to the population as long as it leads to have a high quality state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system with equal opportunities for all young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
prefer private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the advantages of this action in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Indeed
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
` owners will need qualified and competent staff, and a well-funded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system can provide such employees. As long as competitive professionals
are formed
, better opportunities for a prosperous and developed nation will be.

By way of conclusion, from my perspective, there should not be any financial concessions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
choose private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. with this statement? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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