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Women can do everything that men can, and they even do it better. They also can do many things that men cannot. But there is a fact that their work is not appreciated as men's although they have to sacrifice a lot for their family and career. v.2

Women can do everything that men can, and they even do it better. They also can do many things that men cannot. But there is a fact that their work is not appreciated as men's although they have to sacrifice a lot for their family and career. v. 2
There is no doubt that women are contributing equally like men in the economic development of a country. Their rights are more realised now than they used to be in ancient times. Societies recognising efforts of men at work overworking woman is a common trend irrespective of their hard work and the sacrifice they make in their family and profession. Most people believe that they are more suited to home than at work. This essay will analyse the position of working women in society in the light of abilities, cultural norms and religious values. Firstly, Men are better adapted genetically to perform physical work, such as operating heavy machinery, cargo loading, digging etc. Women in such domains are not suited due to their structure and nature. For instance, sports, where competitions are primarily categorised on the basis of gender. It is the structure of women that mark the boundaries of what men can do and women cannot. On the other hand, women in nursing, elementary education and customer care services are preferred over men. This is because of their abilities to be patient, devotion, care and pliability. However, it has been argued that women are less esteemed in society due to their traditional roles at home. For instance in middle-east, where cultural and religious values demand women to stay back home and devote their time to raising children and fulfilling their household responsibilities. To conclude, differences do exist and are largely due to nature. Women place in the house or at work is largely governed by culture, tradition and religious value and not by their abilities.
There is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are contributing
equally
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in the economic development of a country. Their rights are more
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in ancient times. Societies
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognising' is British English.
recognising
efforts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overworking woman is a common trend irrespective of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and the sacrifice they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
in their family and profession. Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that they are more suited to home than at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the position of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in society in the light of abilities, cultural norms and religious values.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Men
are better adapted
genetically
to perform physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, such as operating heavy machinery, cargo loading, digging etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
in such domains are not suited due to their structure and nature.
For instance
, sports, where competitions are
primarily
Possible spelling mistake. 'categorised' is British English.
categorised
on the basis of gender. It is the structure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
that mark the boundaries of what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
can do and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
cannot.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in nursing, elementary education and customer care services
are preferred
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their abilities to be patient, devotion, care and pliability.

However
, it has
been argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are less esteemed in society due to their traditional roles at home.
For instance
in middle-east, where cultural and religious values demand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
to stay back home and devote their time to raising children and fulfilling their household responsibilities.

To conclude
, differences do exist and are
largely
due to nature.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
place in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
largely
governed by culture, tradition and religious value and not by their abilities.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Women can do everything that men can, and they even do it better. They also can do many things that men cannot. But there is a fact that their work is not appreciated as men's although they have to sacrifice a lot for their family and career. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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