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Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. with this statement? v. 2
Education is the key to success as it becomes an indispensable part of everyone's life. In recent times, more and more people enrolled in institution to gain knowledge which eventually helps them to get jobs. As many parents who prefer private schools instead of administrative funded schools are not interested to pay taxes that in universal studies. As laze, it is extremely pivotal to get education and it is a fundamental right of each and every citizen to get education. Government never encourages the students to enrol in private schools as every child is welcomed by public organisations. To run an entire country's tax payers are the most important assets in order to run the economy of the country. Collection of the taxes are not only relocated in education sectors but also in the several other departments such as health, Transport, Innovation and so on. According to finance Ministry surveys, the percentage of income tax payers are already negligible as compared to the total population. Moreover if the more assumptions on tax will impose that might detiorate the economical condition of the country. On the other hand, the amount of taxes which is being paid by the natives are not able to retrieve the significant amount of facilities. For instance the schools which are administered by the government agencies are lacking in terms of facilities they provided. The public school infrastructure as well as educational quality is not optimum for better outcomes. However ministries run several schemes for the betterment of public, but due to corruption it left unsuccessful. To conclude, for the better society, community education is the prerequisites. For liberalisation, knowledge must be spread all over. So in my opinion there should not have such exemptions for taxpayers as it will lead to dishonesty and disturbance among society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is the key to success as it becomes an indispensable part of everyone's life. In recent times, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enrolled in institution to gain knowledge which
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents who prefer private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
instead
of administrative funded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are not interested to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
that in universal studies.

As laze, it is
extremely
pivotal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and it is a fundamental right of each and every citizen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
never encourages the students to enrol in private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as every child
is welcomed
by public
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. To run an entire country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
payers are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
assets in order to run the economy of the country. Collection of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
relocated in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sectors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in the several other departments such as health, Transport, Innovation and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. According to finance Ministry surveys, the percentage of income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
payers are already negligible as compared to the total population.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
if the more assumptions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
will impose that might
Possible spelling mistake found.
detiorate
the economical condition of the country.

On the other hand
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
which is
being paid
by the natives are not able to retrieve the significant amount of facilities.
For instance
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which
are administered
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
agencies are lacking in terms of facilities they provided. The public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
infrastructure
as well
as educational quality is not optimum for better outcomes.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
ministries run several schemes for the betterment of public,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to corruption it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
unsuccessful.

To conclude
, for the better society, community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the prerequisites. For
Possible spelling mistake. 'liberalisation' is British English.
liberalisation
, knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be spread
all over.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in my opinion there should not have such exemptions for taxpayers as it will lead to dishonesty and disturbance among society.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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