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Parents, usually mothers, stay at home to look after their family. People believe they should receive a salary from the government for that. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

Due to the ever-increasing cost of living, the income of one parent is often not enough to support the family and therefore both parents have to work to make both ends meet. It is sometimes proposed that if the State financially supports either of the parents of very young children, then the need for sending children to creches at such a tender age will not arise. This essay will critically analyse this proposition by discussing the pros and cons. Firstly, it cannot be rejected that parents provide the best possible care to their offsprings. Children thrive to their fullest potential in the cozy and secure environment of their homes in the company of their parents. For example, in a survey conducted in the US in 2016, it was found that toddlers sent to child care facilities had delayed developmental milestones compared to their counterparts who spent time with their parent at home. Moreover, there is a genuine concern regarding the safety of the little child who is too young to even understand or convey any ill behaviour suffered at the hands of the child care authorities. Thus, if a parent babysits the child, chances of physical and mental abuse to the little one are much lesser. Although this proposition has several benefits, it has some drawbacks also. Often, one of the working parents has to let go of their career opportunities in order to babysit at home. This may lead to personal and professional dissatisfaction and resentment which may eventually lead to ill behaviour and apathy towards one's own ward. To illustrate, a survey conducted in the metropolitan cities of India showed an alarming 30% rise in depression rates among working women who had to babysit after quitting their jobs. It goes without saying that a depressed parent will be unable to provide adequate care and love the baby. Moreover, this is not a feasible solution in developing countries with increasing population rates. Even two working parents unable to provide sufficiently for their children's upbringing. In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true that a parent can provide the best care to one's offspring; but it is not always practical for the state to support any one of the parents monetarily. Moreover, steps may be taken to increase the duration of the maternity leave and childcare leaves of the parents.
Due to the ever-increasing cost of living, the income of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to support the family and
therefore
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
both ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
proposed that if the State
financially
supports either of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young children, then the need for sending children to
'creches' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "crèches"
creches
at such a tender age will not arise. This essay will
critically
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
this proposition by discussing the pros and cons.

Firstly
, it cannot
be rejected
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the best possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
. Children thrive to their fullest potential in the cozy and secure environment of their homes in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For example
, in a survey conducted in the US in 2016, it
was found
that toddlers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
facilities had delayed developmental milestones compared to their counterparts who spent time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
at home.
Moreover
, there is a genuine concern regarding the safety of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
who is too young to even understand or convey any ill
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
suffered at the hands of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
authorities.
Thus
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
babysits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, chances of physical and mental abuse to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
one are much lesser.

Although this proposition has several benefits, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
also
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
, one of the working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
go of their career opportunities in order to babysit at home. This may lead to personal and professional dissatisfaction and resentment which may
eventually
lead to ill
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and apathy towards one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ward. To illustrate, a survey conducted in the metropolitan cities of India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an alarming 30% rise in depression rates among working women who had to babysit after quitting their jobs. It goes without saying that a depressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
will be unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the baby.
Moreover
, this is not a feasible solution in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
with increasing population rates. Even two working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
sufficiently
for their children's upbringing.

In conclusion
, it is
undoubtedly
true that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to one's offspring;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not always practical for the state to support any one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
monetarily
.
Moreover
, steps may
be taken
to increase the duration of the maternity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
and childcare
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the government should pay one of the parents of very young children to stay at home to look after their children. What do you think would be the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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