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parents should spend their free time having fun with their kids in their free time or do something related to schoolwork v.1

parents should spend their free time having fun with their kids in their free time or do something related to schoolwork v. 1
Nowadays, it is believed, that travelling abroad has brought many benefits for both visitors and hosting nations. By visiting the countries, tourist had had a unique experience of the new place; however, hosting nations gain wealth which plays vital roles in their economic development. Firstly, It is very true that in recent days the trend to visit the newer places has grown in large scale because of technological advancements. These days, many people are starting video logging on one of social website, namely YouTube, which not only provides money in return but also unique experience and fame. For example, in South Korea, many new visitors came to visit and learn their culture; in fact, they bought new recording devices for their good enjoyable experience. Therefore, it is clear that visitors number will grow in future as it is a source of enjoyment and earning. Secondly, those who have hosted the visitors are also gaining the benefits in terms of earning, cultural diversity and economic development. As the technology has advanced, almost every country has wanted to attract more and more visitors by making the appealing destinations. For instance, in Dubai, Burj-Al-Khalifa, the worlds tallest building yet, was made to attract the tourists world wide which could help the UAE to be a multicultural society along with economic development. Thus hosting countries gain lots of perks by the visiting of new peoples. In conclusion, it is very obvious that both have advantages rather than disadvantages.
Nowadays, it
is believed
, that travelling abroad has brought
many
benefits for both
visitors
and hosting nations. By visiting the countries, tourist had had a unique experience of the
new
place;
however
, hosting nations gain wealth which plays vital roles in their economic development.

Firstly
, It is
very
true that in recent days the trend to visit the newer places has grown in large scale
because
of technological advancements. These days,
many
people
are starting video logging on one of social website,
namely
YouTube, which not
only
provides money in return
but
also
unique experience and fame.
For example
, in South Korea,
many
new
visitors
came to visit and learn their culture; in fact, they
bought
new
recording devices for their
good
enjoyable experience.
Therefore
, it is
clear
that
visitors
number will grow in future as it is a source of enjoyment and earning.

Secondly
, those who have hosted the
visitors
are
also
gaining the benefits in terms of earning, cultural diversity and economic development. As the technology has advanced, almost every country has wanted to attract more and more
visitors
by making the appealing destinations.
For instance
, in Dubai,
Burj-Al-Khalifa
, the worlds
tallest
building
yet
,
was made
to attract the tourists
world wide
which could
help
the UAE to be a multicultural society along with economic development.
Thus
hosting countries gain lots of perks by the visiting of
new
peoples.

In conclusion
, it is
very
obvious that both have advantages
rather
than disadvantages.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay parents should spend their free time having fun with their kids in their free time or do something related to schoolwork v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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