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parents have to use their limited free time whether having fun with their children or helping them in their schoolwork v.1

parents have to use their limited free time whether having fun with their children or helping them in their schoolwork v. 1
Nowadays, a fashion sense around the orb has changed. In old times, people use to wear the traditional clothes, but today an individual’s tend to wear usual clothes. It’s a positive sign for the communities. Help the manufacturer to produce same clothes and aid to destroy discrimination. However, I will draw your attention to my viewpoints in further paragraphs. Firstly, people wearing similar attire all around the planet. This will boost the clothing and a cotton industry. Due to equal clothes the world sees the uniformity and solidarity between the nations. In addition, jeans and shirts are similar because it’s very comfortable and effective for physical movements. It’s a beneficial approach to the communities to destroy communalism. For instance, an Indian multi-national organizations choose a same outfit for every employee. This will strengthen the bond between colleagues and managers. Folks judge others by their attire, but this uniformity creates globalization of similar outfits. For example, people will not able to doing work with ethnic wear. Hence, relaxing outfits are mandatory for every pursuit. Secondly, same clothes worn by many people are harmful and negative impact on the culture & a tradition, these modernizations effects on historical image. For example, India is the country who follows the path of unity in diversity. If people will forget their roots, our cultural; prestige will be disrupted. Also besides, any country’s strength is measured by its provincial cultural aspects. Therefore, don’t forget your primitive province and industries should allocate one day in a year to inform employees that appear in ethnic wear dress-code. Finally, a similar outfit shows the unity and eradication of discrimination. On the contrary, ethnic wear express the culture characteristic, it’s significant to stay connected to the cultural roots.
Nowadays, a fashion sense around the orb has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
an individual’s tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
usual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. It’s a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
for the communities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Help
the manufacturer to produce same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
and aid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
discrimination.
However
, I will draw your attention to my viewpoints in
further
paragraphs.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
attire all around the planet. This will boost the clothing and a cotton industry. Due to equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
the uniformity and solidarity between the nations.
In addition
, jeans and shirts are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable and effective for physical movements. It’s a beneficial approach to the communities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
Possible spelling mistake found.
communalism
.
For instance
, an Indian multi-national organizations choose a same outfit for every employee. This will strengthen the bond between colleagues and managers. Folks judge others by their attire,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this uniformity creates globalization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
outfits.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not able to doing work with ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
.
Hence
, relaxing outfits are mandatory for every pursuit.

Secondly
, same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
worn by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are harmful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the culture & a tradition, these
Possible spelling mistake found.
modernizations
effects on historical image.
For example
, India is the country who follows the path of unity in diversity. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will forget their roots, our cultural; prestige will
be disrupted
.
Also
besides
, any country’s strength
is measured
by its provincial cultural aspects.
Therefore
, don’t forget your primitive province and industries should allocate one day in a year to inform employees that appear in ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
dress-code.

Finally
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
outfit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the unity and eradication of discrimination.
On the contrary
, ethnic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
express the culture characteristic, it’s significant to stay connected to the cultural roots.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay parents have to use their limited free time whether having fun with their children or helping them in their schoolwork v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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