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parents have to use their limited free time whether having fun with their children or helping them in their schoolwork v.2

parents have to use their limited free time whether having fun with their children or helping them in their schoolwork v. 2
It goes without any shadowing of doubt that parents have a responsibility to spend time with their children. In this hectic life that most of the people have a lot to do, there is a controversial argument that parents have to use their limited free time whether having fun with their children or helping them in their schoolwork. I, personally, subscribe to the idea that it is better to play with them. Such a communication among parents and children not only improve children' s mental ability but also bring an energetic atmosphere in families. To begin with, psychologically speaking, beyond the recreational aspect of games, they have an important role to increase mental activity. Games and sports bring children a priceless opportunity to learn how to be patient to become their turn during games, how to behave with their playmates and so forth. In my opinion, parents are more reliable individuals to be the source of such a training. For instance, my nephew, John, and my cousin, Sara, that are in the same age, grow up differently, Sara always played with her mother, but John had to do his schoolwork along with his mother. Now, Sara is as good as John in her education, but she equipped with many strong beneficial characteristics like sportsmanship, deduction and so forth all of which are very weakly in John. The very big difference among them has roots in their mother upbringing approach. Secondly, as we know, education is not what life is all about, I mean, there many other significant aspects of life some of which outweigh educational aspect of individuals' life like family relationship. If parents that have a little time to spend with their children and just use it for giving hand their children in their schoolwork, they would definitely lose the beyond the price blessing, their family relationship. Playing with children is a good way to make friendly communication with them. They can have fun with each other which provide them with a happy time. Such a spending time not only help adults to release their pressure of life, but also make children energetic. All of these outcomes of doing so make eventually the family members close together and a unique family. It is not to mention that children can deal with their school tasks by their teacher and even siblings' help, but they cannot experience such an atmosphere with anyone else except their parents. In summary, with taken all this into account, I do believe that if parents have a little time to spend with their children, playing games and sports instead of doing other things like school tasks with them would be most profitable choice. It has a lot of advantages for all family members like high mental abilities of children and happy air in families.
It goes without any shadowing of doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a responsibility to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In this hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
that most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a lot to do, there is a controversial argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their limited free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
whether having fun with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or helping them in their schoolwork. I,
personally
, subscribe to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is better to play with them. Such a communication among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s mental ability
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
bring an energetic atmosphere in families.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
psychologically
speaking, beyond the recreational aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to increase mental activity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Games
and sports bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
a priceless opportunity to learn how to be patient to become their turn during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, how to behave with their playmates and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more reliable individuals to be the source of such a training.
For instance
, my nephew, John, and my cousin, Sara, that are in the same age, grow up
differently
, Sara always played with her mother,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
John had to do his schoolwork along with his mother.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, Sara is as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as John in her education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she equipped with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
strong beneficial characteristics like sportsmanship, deduction and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth all of which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
weakly
in John. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
difference among them has roots in their mother upbringing approach.

Secondly
, as we know, education is not what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is all about, I mean, there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other significant aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which outweigh educational aspect of
Possible spelling mistake found.
individuals&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
that have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for giving hand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their schoolwork, they would definitely lose the beyond the price blessing, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship. Playing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friendly communication with them. They can have fun with each other which provide them with a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Such a spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
adults to release their pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
energetic. All of these outcomes of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
eventually
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members close together and a unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It is not to mention that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can deal with their school tasks by their teacher and even
Possible spelling mistake found.
siblings&
#039;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they cannot experience such an atmosphere with anyone else except their parents.

In summary, with taken all this into account, I do believe that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and sports
instead
of doing other things like school tasks with them would be
Did you mean "the most"?
most
profitable choice. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members like high mental abilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and happy air in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay parents have to use their limited free time whether having fun with their children or helping them in their schoolwork v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
468 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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