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parents have to use their limited free time whether having fun with their children or helping them in their schoolwork v.2

parents have to use their limited free time whether having fun with their children or helping them in their schoolwork v. 2
It goes without any shadowing of doubt that parents have a responsibility to spend time with their children. In this hectic life that most of the people have a lot to do, there is a controversial argument that parents have to use their limited free time whether having fun with their children or helping them in their schoolwork. I, personally, subscribe to the idea that it is better to play with them. Such a communication among parents and children not only improve children' s mental ability but also bring an energetic atmosphere in families. To begin with, psychologically speaking, beyond the recreational aspect of games, they have an important role to increase mental activity. Games and sports bring children a priceless opportunity to learn how to be patient to become their turn during games, how to behave with their playmates and so forth. In my opinion, parents are more reliable individuals to be the source of such a training. For instance, my nephew, John, and my cousin, Sara, that are in the same age, grow up differently, Sara always played with her mother, but John had to do his schoolwork along with his mother. Now, Sara is as good as John in her education, but she equipped with many strong beneficial characteristics like sportsmanship, deduction and so forth all of which are very weakly in John. The very big difference among them has roots in their mother upbringing approach. Secondly, as we know, education is not what life is all about, I mean, there many other significant aspects of life some of which outweigh educational aspect of individuals' life like family relationship. If parents that have a little time to spend with their children and just use it for giving hand their children in their schoolwork, they would definitely lose the beyond the price blessing, their family relationship. Playing with children is a good way to make friendly communication with them. They can have fun with each other which provide them with a happy time. Such a spending time not only help adults to release their pressure of life, but also make children energetic. All of these outcomes of doing so make eventually the family members close together and a unique family. It is not to mention that children can deal with their school tasks by their teacher and even siblings' help, but they cannot experience such an atmosphere with anyone else except their parents. In summary, with taken all this into account, I do believe that if parents have a little time to spend with their children, playing games and sports instead of doing other things like school tasks with them would be most profitable choice. It has a lot of advantages for all family members like high mental abilities of children and happy air in families.
It goes without any shadowing of doubt that
parents
have a responsibility to spend
time
with their
children
. In this hectic
life
that most of the
people
have a lot to do, there is a controversial argument that
parents
have to
use
their limited free
time
whether having fun with their
children
or helping them in their schoolwork. I,
personally
, subscribe to the
idea
that it is better to play with them. Such a communication among
parents
and
children
not
only
improve
children&
#039; s mental ability
but
also
bring an energetic atmosphere in families.

To
begin
with,
psychologically
speaking, beyond the recreational aspect of
games
, they have an
important
role to increase mental activity.
Games
and sports bring
children
a priceless opportunity to learn how to be patient to become their turn during
games
, how to behave with their playmates and
so
forth. In my opinion,
parents
are more reliable individuals to be the source of such a training.
For instance
, my nephew, John, and my cousin, Sara, that are in the same age, grow up
differently
, Sara always played with her mother,
but
John had to do his schoolwork along with his mother.
Now
, Sara is as
good
as John in her education,
but
she equipped with
many
strong beneficial characteristics like sportsmanship, deduction and
so
forth all of which are
very
weakly
in John. The
very
big
difference among them has roots in their mother upbringing approach.

Secondly
, as we know, education is not what
life
is all about, I mean, there
many
other significant aspects of
life
some
of which outweigh educational aspect of
individuals&
#039;
life
like
family
relationship. If
parents
that have a
little
time
to spend with their
children
and
just
use
it for giving hand their
children
in their schoolwork, they would definitely lose the beyond the price blessing, their
family
relationship. Playing with
children
is a
good
way to
make
friendly communication with them. They can have fun with each other which provide them with a happy
time
. Such a spending
time
not
only
help
adults to release their pressure of
life
,
but
also
make
children
energetic. All of these outcomes of doing
so
make
eventually
the
family
members close together and a unique
family
. It is not to mention that
children
can deal with their school tasks by their teacher and even
siblings&
#039;
help
,
but
they cannot experience such an atmosphere with anyone else except their parents.

In summary, with taken all this into account, I do believe that if
parents
have a
little
time
to spend with their
children
, playing
games
and sports
instead
of doing other things like school tasks with them would be
most
profitable choice. It has
a lot of
advantages for all
family
members like high mental abilities of
children
and happy air in
families
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay parents have to use their limited free time whether having fun with their children or helping them in their schoolwork v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
468 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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