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Nowadays, people are busy with many things. If you were given a short period of time, what would you choose: 1. learn to play a new sport you never played; 2. learn to cook food in a different way; 3. learn to do some hand-made work like clothes. v.2

Nowadays, people are busy with many things. If you were given a short period of time, what would you choose: 1. learn to play a new sport you never played; 2. learn to cook food in a different way; 3. learn to do some hand-made work like clothes. v. 2
In this hectic life, all human beings have insufficient time to do everything they want. They always encounter with dilemmas to opt for the possible activities according to their free time and the benefits of them. It is clear as a day that individuals' choices are firmly connected to their life styles and viewpoints. For instance, if I were a person who should choose just one activity among the given choices in the question-- learning to play a new sport which I never played, learning to cook a food differently, and learning to make some handwork like clothes-- I would prefer the latest one. It is a reasonable select because not only I will find a great opportunity to do my own business, but also it can refresh my tired spirit. In the first place, it is not to mention that these days the principal concerns of people are related to their cost of living, and I am not an exception. Most of us need to have a secondary job to afford our lives' costs, so it is a priceless chance to learn to make handiwork like clothes. This beyond the price training brings us a situation to establish our home workshop in first place, and even after a short time we are able to develop our workplace from home to a company and so on. In every individual life, it is not impossible to see no sources of money in some days, so by such a learning at least we would be hopeful that we can do something to earn money. For instance, my neighborhood is an architecture, but besides his main expert he also makes small sculpture in his home. For instance, my neighborhood is an architecture, but besides his main expert he also makes small sculpture in his home. Secondly, nowadays life crushes the individuals' spirit because of the existed hardships interwoven to modern life. We must be aware about times when we can use to fresh our mind. Even though some people are in the opinion that every new sport can do so, and there are some others think making food in a new way is a good option to meet such a goal, but, I subscribe to this idea that arts, that making handiwork is among them, have special effect in our souls. I think so because of a Persian proverb which says that artists will not be alien and alone in every situation. For instance, when we feel loneliness, arts like doing hand-made work remind us that we have one. In every condition that we can imagine like when we are upset, when we get failure in our relationship, to name but a few, we just need to make a handicraft and like that to change our emotion and see the beauties of life. In summary, by taking all of this into account, I think learning to do some handiwork are more beneficial activity to choose among given options. Who can deny in their right minds opportunity job of such an activity and the positive feeling of doing so?
In this hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, all human beings have insufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do everything they want. They always encounter with dilemmas to opt for the possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
according to their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and the benefits of them. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
as a day that
Possible spelling mistake found.
individuals&
#039; choices are
firmly
connected to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
styles and viewpoints. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instance
, if I were a person who should choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
choices in the question--
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to play a new sport which I never played,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to cook a food
differently
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
handwork like clothes-- I would prefer the latest one. It is a reasonable select
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
I will find a great opportunity to do my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can refresh my tired spirit.

In the
first
place, it is not to mention that these days the principal concerns of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are related
to their cost of living, and I am not an exception. Most of us need to have a secondary job to afford our
Possible spelling mistake found.
lives&
#039; costs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is a priceless chance to learn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
handiwork like clothes. This beyond the price training brings us a situation to establish our home workshop in
first
place, and even after a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we are able to develop our workplace from home to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In every individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it is not impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
no sources of money in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
by such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
at least we would be hopeful that we can do something to earn money. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instance
, my neighborhood is an architecture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
besides
his main expert he
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sculpture in his home. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instance
, my neighborhood is an architecture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
besides
his main expert he
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
sculpture in his home.

Secondly
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
crushes the
Possible spelling mistake found.
individuals&
#039; spirit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the existed hardships interwoven to modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be aware about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
when we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to fresh our mind.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in the opinion that every new sport can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
making food
Consider replacing "in a new way" with the adverb for "new"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a new way
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
such a goal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, I subscribe to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that arts, that making handiwork is among them, have special effect in our souls. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a Persian proverb which says that artists will not be alien and alone in every situation. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
instance
, when we feel loneliness, arts like doing hand-made work remind us that we have one. In every condition that we can imagine like when we
are upset
, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
failure in our relationship, to name
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a few, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a handicraft and like that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our emotion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the beauties of life.

In summary, by taking all of this into account, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
handiwork are more beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
to choose among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
options. Who can deny in their right minds opportunity job of such an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
and the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feeling of doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
?
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, people are busy with many things. If you were given a short period of time, what would you choose: 1. learn to play a new sport you never played; 2. learn to cook food in a different way; 3. learn to do some hand-made work like clothes. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
515 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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