Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should onlystudy or play and don’t have to do household chores. v.659

Children should onlystudy or play and don’t have to do household chores. v. 659
As the people' s knowledge gets raised, their attentions toward the children' s upbringing are increased too. Parents notice more to psychologists' councils to behave more beneficially with their children in comparison to the past. One of the questions among parents is that how much household chore they must determine for their children, or even more fundamentally one; weather they must give children any duty related to the household. Some people agree with the idea that the children should just study or play and not more; while others believe otherwise. I, personally, subscribe to this idea that it is more profitable for family to divide household among all the family members, even children. It brings families a cooperative spirit and a good family cohesion. It is not to mention that the children by making such a duty gain a lot of proper characteristics all of which are necessary for their future lives. In first place, a loving family has many specific characteristics such as having cooperative spirit which can shape with some activities. Sharing households among members is the most effective among them. Parents are in the heart of a family that can make a good atmosphere in families. As the family cohesion and cooperation in family are concerned, they must identify individual' s duty for each family member; I mean they must do household together and the children aren’t exception at all. What successes such a family is a reasonable cooperation. In fact, they must notice to the amount of school' s duties of their children, their physical abilities and so forth along with considering the demands of children for playing. For instance, my mother required all of us, my siblings and me, to have some definite task in our home. I remember from my childhood that all of us had a duty during breakfasts, for example my little brother had to buy breeds for breakfast, and my sister had to prepare breakfast table. It makes our family a conspicuous one in our extended family because of our family cohesion. Secondly, children carry most of their characteristics from their childhood and youth. I mean the family is the most important place in which the children learn many things and their character shape. It is crystal clear that the choosing every way of behaving with children bring them specific personality. Sharing household among members of families and give numbers of it to children prepare an atmosphere in which the children can learn some positive characteristics. They learn cooperation by which they can deal with their future group activities like schools task, work' s task and so on. It is crystal clear that they are more energetic and happy compared with other children, those that didn’t do the household along with their parents. It comes from the atmosphere of their home. As all of us know the feeling of being in a group even small one like an immediate family, make human beings happy and energetic. A cooperative family shape such a group. In summary, by taking all of these into account, in my opinion, the children must be given some households. These duties bring them some positive characteristic and spirit like happiness. The family also get a proper atmosphere in which the members are more close together.
As the
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
raised, their attentions toward the
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s upbringing
are increased
too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
notice more to
Possible spelling mistake found.
psychologists&
#039; councils to behave more
beneficially
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in comparison
to the past. One of the questions among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is that how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
chore they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
determine for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, or even more
fundamentally
one; weather they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duty
related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
study or play and not more; while others believe
otherwise
. I,
personally
, subscribe to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is more profitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to divide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
among all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. It brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
a cooperative spirit and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
cohesion. It is not to mention that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by making such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duty
gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
all of which are necessary for their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In
first
place, a loving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
such as having cooperative spirit which can shape with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities. Sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
is the most effective among them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are in the heart of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
atmosphere
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
cohesion and cooperation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
are concerned
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
identify
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duty
for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
; I mean they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
together and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
aren’t exception at all. What successes such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is a reasonable cooperation. In fact, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
notice to the amount of
Possible spelling mistake found.
school&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duties
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, their physical abilities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth along with considering the demands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for playing.
For instance
, my mother required all of us, my siblings and me, to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
task in our home. I remember from my childhood that all of us had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duty
during breakfasts,
for example
my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
brother had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
breeds for breakfast, and my sister had to prepare breakfast table. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
a conspicuous one in our extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
cohesion.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
carry most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
from their childhood and youth. I mean the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
place in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things and their character shape. It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the choosing every way of behaving with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
bring them specific personality. Sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and give numbers of it to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prepare an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
atmosphere
in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristics
. They learn cooperation by which they can deal with their future group activities like schools task,
Possible spelling mistake found.
work&
#039; s task and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that they are more energetic and happy compared with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, those that didn’t do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
along with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
atmosphere
of their home. As all of us know the feeling of being in a group even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
one like an immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
human beings happy and energetic. A cooperative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
shape such a group.

In summary, by taking all of these into account, in my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duties
bring them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
and spirit like happiness. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
atmosphere
in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are more close together.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
68Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Children should onlystudy or play and don’t have to do household chores. v. 659

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
547 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts