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Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples v.2

Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. 2
The question about taking a break after leaving a school has been widely discussed in recent years. Some people believe that baccalaureates should travel or get labour experience, before they entry the university or college, but other people claim than this time-out has negative aspects. There are arguments on both sides, however, which we will discuss here. It is unquestionable that the majority of the students after finishing the high school yearn to know the world, learn new languages, visit interesting places and especially to have an independence of their parents. For example, in my personal experience, when I graduated from high school, I travel around the world, and that gave me a lot of experience, for instance, it was the first time I learned to cook, laundry my own clothes, and the most relevant, I learned to solve my own problems. Based on that experience when I entry the university I felt with more confidence and it was easier to manage my life. On the other hand, making a long recess after high school can be harmful, in particular, the habit of study may be lost and some study skills may be lost and over time you may lose interest in studying. Secondly, entering the university immediately has some benefits, in addiction because students have fresh knowledge, have a routine study and most significant, they can complete a degree yet being very young. Nonetheless, they are still very immature and there is a chance they do not know what they want, therefore address potential problems daily life will be more difficult for them. As we have seen, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance, however, while there are strong arguments on both sides, the advantages of taking a break before to go to study at university overweight the disadvantages. In line with the above, I completely agree with the statement that students should travel or get a short labour experience.
The question about taking a break after leaving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has been
widely
discussed in recent years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that baccalaureates should travel or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they entry
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim than this time-out has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. There are arguments on both sides,
however
, which we will discuss here.

It is unquestionable that the majority of the students after finishing the high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
yearn to know the world, learn new languages, visit interesting places and
especially
to have an independence of their parents.
For example
, in my personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, when I graduated from high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I travel around the world, and that gave me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
,
for instance
, it was the
first
time I learned to cook, laundry my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
clothes, and the most relevant, I learned to solve my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
problems. Based on that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
when
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'I'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
I entry
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
I felt with more confidence and it was easier to manage my life.

On the other hand
, making a long recess after high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can be harmful,
in particular
, the habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
may
be lost
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
may
be lost
and over time you may lose interest in studying.
Secondly
, entering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
immediately has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, in addiction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
students have fresh knowledge, have a routine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
and most significant, they can complete a degree
yet
being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young. Nonetheless, they are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
immature and there is a chance they do not know what they want,
therefore
address potential problems daily life will be more difficult for them.

As we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance,
however
, while there are strong arguments on both sides, the advantages of taking a break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
overweight the disadvantages. In line with the above, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that students should travel or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a short
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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