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Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on health and the society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.3

Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on health and the society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for work. with this statement? v. 3
In recent years, the trend of having a personal cell phone has increased drastically over the globe. People from all races of life try to own a mobile phone without even knowing the serious health concerns related to it, which may include effects of harmful radiation exposure to serious hearing disabilities among those who have unlimited access of such devices. I, strongly believe that such unhealthy habits have a potentially negative effect upon the health of individuals and the society where they live. Firstly, all telecom communications is carried by using radioactive waves. Radioactive waves are the worst enemy of living species which also include human beings. For Example, Honey bees are one of the living creatures that have been badly affected by the mobile tower radiations. Because of radiations, they may loss their navigation ability to fly back to their hives which can cause their death. Government has to take an immediate remedial action to stop such telecom companies for having higher frequency radioactive radiation, which are seriously harmful for flora and fauna. Companies who are saving the huge bulk of bucks by putting human generation in danger must be penalized or banned if repeated. Secondly, Globalization has made the Earth, a small place. With communication easier, people are believed to live in a small town where they can be communicated at any age without having any barriers. This has adversely affected the time quality and privacy of the folks. Now a day, Young generation is mostly spoiling their precious era on online games and social media talks, which are not only adhering their good healthy lifestyle, but also causing an alarming issue among them which can only make them mentally a day dreamer and physically an unhealthy challenged person. Government has to take serious action by restricting the ownership of mobile phones with only those who will use them at work only and other than work places they must be banned. In conclusion, I agree that serious sanctions on the unhealthy use of such devices should be imposed by the government and at the same moment, upcoming generations must be clearly addressed with restricted use of cell phone to enable them to live a more secured, healthy and progressive life.
In recent years, the trend of having a personal cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has increased
drastically
over the globe.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
from all races of life try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
without even knowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
health concerns related to it, which may include effects of harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radiation
exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
hearing disabilities among those who have unlimited access of such devices. I,
strongly
believe that such unhealthy habits have a
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect upon the health of individuals and the society where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

Firstly
, all telecom communications
is carried
by using radioactive waves. Radioactive waves are the worst enemy of living species which
also
include human beings.
For Example
, Honey bees are one of the living creatures that have been
badly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the mobile tower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radiations
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radiations
, they may
"loss" is a noun. Did you mean the verb "lose" (= 'to lose')?
loss
their navigation ability to
fly
back to their hives which can cause their death.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take an immediate remedial action to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
such telecom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
for having higher frequency radioactive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radiation
, which are
seriously
harmful for flora and fauna.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
who are saving the huge bulk of bucks by putting human generation in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be penalized
or banned if repeated.

Secondly
, Globalization has made the Earth, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
place. With communication easier,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are believed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town where they can
be communicated
at any age without having any barriers. This has
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the time quality and privacy of the folks.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
a day, Young generation is
mostly
spoiling their precious era on online games and social media talks, which are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
adhering their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
healthy lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
causing an alarming issue among them which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them mentally a day dreamer and
physically
an unhealthy challenged person.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
action by restricting the ownership of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
those who will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them at work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
and other than work places they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be banned
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
sanctions on the unhealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of such devices should
be imposed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and at the same moment, upcoming generations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
clearly
addressed with restricted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to enable them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a more secured, healthy and progressive life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on health and the society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for work. with this statement? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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