Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on our health and on society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on our health and on society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for their work. with this statement? v. 2
The telecommunication industry has been grown tremendously during the past two decades. Nowadays, it is commonly seen that the majority of people own mobile phones. Although there are some people believe that mobile phones are negatively affecting health and have bad consequences on society, but it is strongly refuted to governments to limit mobile ownership on those who use them for their business. This can be proven by analyzing main roles played by mobile phones at emergency cases and keeping in touch with other people. Firstly, the importance of mobile phones cannot be denied in emergency cases. For example, today it is easy to call an ambulance or report a violent robbery at the same time it happens without being at home. This example makes it apparent that mobile phones can save lives and decrease number of crimes in society. Thus, ownership of mobile phones cannot be restricted. In addition, due to the growth of travel based jobs in modern life, mobile phones can cater the need of keeping touch with family. For instance, people work in oil fields stay away from their families for nearly three weeks every month and the only effective way of communication is the mobile phone. This shows how mobile phones can be used to fortify the bond among family members regardless of their location. Hence, controlling the ownership of this invention is not a good idea. Finally, after analyzing the previous two points, it has been proven that ownership of a mobile phone has more pros than cons. Therefore, introducing measures by authorities to limit the ownership among the public is strongly disagreed on. Moreover, it is recommended to enforce some occupations that are frequently travelling to own a cell phone to be able to communicate with people easily.
The telecommunication industry has
been grown
tremendously
during the past two decades. Nowadays, it is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
negatively
affecting health and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences on society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
strongly
refuted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to limit mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
on those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for their business. This can
be proven
by analyzing main roles played by mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
at emergency cases and keeping in touch with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Firstly
, the importance of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
cannot
be denied
in emergency cases.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
it is easy to call an ambulance or report a violent robbery at the same time it happens without being at home. This example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it apparent that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and decrease number of crimes in society.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
cannot
be restricted
.

In addition
, due to the growth of travel based jobs in modern life, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can cater the need of keeping touch with family.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
work in oil fields stay away from their families for
nearly
three weeks every month and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
effective way of communication is the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to fortify the bond among family members regardless of their location.
Hence
, controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
of this invention is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Finally
, after analyzing the previous two points, it has
been proven
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
of a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has more pros than cons.
Therefore
, introducing measures by authorities to limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
among the public is
strongly
disagreed on.
Moreover
, it
is recommended
to enforce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
occupations that are
frequently
travelling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to be able to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on our health and on society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for their work. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts