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Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. 1
Nowadays, people are migrating from one country to another for various purposes, such as academic, working and immigration, more than ever before. Though, this new trend brings the enormous number of benefits in the life of human beings, migrated students and workers face a lot of problems, socially and economically in the host country. This essay is an attempt to illustrate some of the pros and cons of studying and living in the abroad. On the one hand, being in a different country, other than the home country, can help people to explore their horizons of knowledge. These people get a chance to come across various kinds of traditions, languages and foods, which make them bolder to handle the trials and tribulations of their lives. Further, a good foreign experience enhances the chances of people's jobs in the global market. For example, a study, carried out by the American Labour Association, has revealed that, people, who have an experience working in more than two countries, are more preferred in hiring, by the prestigious companies. On the other hand, there are some downsides too. Students, who, choose an alien land to get a higher education qualification, may not adopt the host country's culture, which discourages them to socialize with others. Another issue faced by migrated people, is a language barrier, due to which, people feel isolated as they avoid communicating with others. For instance, there are several real incidents, revealed by the British newspaper that, even after living for a few years, some immigrants still feel nostalgic, which may cause depression and other mental illnesses. To conclude, even though there are plenty of benefits of moving and studying in a foreign country, it has also several demerits too. But, adopting the host country's traditions, languages and foods rapidly, may resolve the most of the issues of students and employees, who are migrated.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are migrating from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to another for various purposes, such as academic, working and immigration, more than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Though, this new trend brings the enormous number of benefits in the life of human beings, migrated students and workers face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems,
socially
and
economically
in the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This essay is an attempt to illustrate
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
pros and cons of studying and living in the abroad.

On the one hand, being in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than the home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to explore their horizons of knowledge. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across various kinds of traditions, languages and foods, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them bolder to handle the trials and tribulations of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Further
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
foreign experience enhances the chances of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's jobs in the global market.
For example
, a study, carried out by the American
Possible spelling mistake. 'Labour' is British English.
Labour
Association, has revealed that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who have an experience working in more than two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, are more preferred in hiring, by the prestigious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides too. Students, who, choose an alien land to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher education qualification, may not adopt the host country's culture, which discourages them to socialize with others. Another issue faced by migrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, is a language barrier, due to which,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel isolated as they avoid communicating with others.
For instance
, there are several real incidents, revealed by the British newspaper that, even after living for a few years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
immigrants
still
feel nostalgic, which may cause depression and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
mental illnesses.

To conclude
,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of benefits of moving and studying in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, it has
also
several demerits too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, adopting the host country's traditions, languages and foods
rapidly
, may resolve the most of the issues of students and employees, who
are migrated
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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