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Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on our health and on society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for w v.4

Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on our health and on society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for w v. 4
it is true that nowadays people are easier to get a mobile phone for their own without a second thought. however, many people believe that the use of this device is more likely have a negative impact on the users, therefore, the government should introduce new laws to restrict people use their phones for work. In my opinion, I partly disagree with this statement in some extents. On the other hand, there are a minor disadvantages that users could interface with when they abuse too much on telephones. A drawback of this is that mobile phones can be a problem in some public places. For instance, ringing phones cause disturbance in cinemas and school classes. Consequently, people might be annoyed or lost their concentrations on the tasks. Furthermore, according to some research, mobile phones' waves could damage our brain and cause lots of strong illnesses. On the one hand, there are a number of benefits that a mobile phone brings to people' s lives. Firstly, the mobile phone is the most popular gadget in today' s worlds. The mobile phones have revolutionised the way we communicate. For example, we could keep in touch with friends, colleagues and family' s member wherever we are. Secondly, mobile phones not only use for contact with others, it also has a ton of different functions such as taking photos, surfing the Internet and listening to music. Lastly, mobiles have become fashion accessories, as well as a way for rich and famous people show their wealthy. In conclusion, despite of mobile phone' s disadvantages, I believe that its potential advantages are outweigh the dangers. however, we should use our phone with care to help us getting the best benefit of it and avoiding harmful impacts.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is true that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
without a second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this device is more likely have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the users,
therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should introduce new laws to restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for work. In my opinion, I partly disagree with this statement in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extents.

On the other hand
, there are a minor disadvantages that users could interface with when they abuse too much on telephones. A drawback of this is that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can be a problem in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
public places.
For instance
, ringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
cause disturbance in cinemas and school classes.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
be annoyed
or lost their concentrations on the tasks.
Furthermore
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research, mobile
Possible spelling mistake found.
phones&
#039; waves could damage our brain and cause lots of strong illnesses.

On the one hand, there are a number of benefits that a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
brings to
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Firstly
, the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is the most popular gadget in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s worlds. The mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
the way we communicate.
For example
, we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with friends, colleagues and
Possible spelling mistake found.
family&
#039; s member wherever we are.
Secondly
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for contact with others, it
also
has a ton of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
functions such as taking photos, surfing the Internet and listening to music.
Lastly
, mobiles have become fashion accessories,
as well
as a way for rich and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their wealthy.

In conclusion
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
mobile
Possible spelling mistake found.
phone&
#039; s disadvantages, I believe that its potential advantages are
Consider using a past participle here: "outweighed".
outweigh
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
with care to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
The verb 'with' is used with an infinitive: "to get" or "get".
getting
the best benefit of it and avoiding harmful impacts.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potentially harmful effects they may have on our health and on society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for w v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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