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Working while in college is something everyone ought to do. Do you agree? v.1

Working while in college is something everyone ought to do. Do you agree? v. 1
There is a radical controversy on whether students should go to work when they are in university. Although a wide variety of people think that the learners should not, I strongly believe that these bring benefits which overweight their drawbacks. First and foremost, working at an early stage helps them implement properly what they have learned into practice and vice versa. It means that if students seek out a part-time job suitable for their field, they will have an environment to put assignments, homework into practice and learn a lot of extra skills and it also enhances knowledge. This leads to the provision of comprehensive knowledge instead of a merely theoretical one. For example, my friends, an IT senior, have utilized his company project as the thesis of graduation. Therefore, these people, after graduation, are set apart from their peers in the labor market because the employers are bound to choose those with experience rather than recruits. If an individual applies for the job of a lecturer in a college and has experience as a Teaching Assistant in his college, he will certainly have a better chance of getting the job. Secondly, it is certain that while doing a job aids them to supplement the cost of living and tuition fees. When learning far from my hometown, students often face difficulties such as electricity bills, rental payment, . . . so they make an effort to cover their daily expenses and even pay back student loan debt. Taking part in a working environment partly supports to lessen the financial burdens and alleviate the stress of loan payment. If a family has more than two children who are in college, the parents face an issue to support their children for expensive tertiary education. In case, one of them works part-time and supports the family to some extent, the parents can divert more resources towards the other child and provide proper education. Considering side hustles is also a good opportunity to have a life with financial security. For example, my brother can afford to own what he wants due to saving money during a part-time job. Thirdly, a lot of opponents argue that the students would be overwhelming because they spend more time going to school and even holding down a job. For them, the learners certainly tend to distract from the studies as well as meet difficulty in maintaining good grades. Besides, taking on a part-time time job and your studies at the same time requires a good level of planning. However, when people are in trouble, they must alter to adapt to the new condition and step out of the comfort zone by drawing up a schedule or determining what is the most important issue or how much time to complete it. Also, overcome the obstacles might be a big step to becoming an adult who is independent and responsible for themselves, In consequence, they would gain effective skills such as problem-resolving or time-management ones. In conclusion, The combination of the early experiences, skills and cost of living gives a plenty of advantages
There is a radical controversy on whether
students
should go to work when they are in university. Although a wide variety of
people
think
that the learners should not, I
strongly
believe that these bring benefits which overweight their drawbacks.

First
and foremost, working at an early stage
helps
them implement
properly
what they have learned into practice and vice versa. It means that if
students
seek out a part-time
job
suitable for their field, they will have an environment to put assignments, homework into practice and learn
a lot of
extra
skills
and it
also
enhances knowledge. This leads to the provision of comprehensive knowledge
instead
of a
merely
theoretical one.
For example
, my friends, an IT senior, have utilized his
company
project as the thesis of graduation.
Therefore
, these
people
, after graduation,
are set
apart from their peers in the labor market
because
the employers
are bound
to choose those with experience
rather
than recruits. If an individual applies for the
job
of a lecturer in a college and has experience as a Teaching Assistant in his college, he will
certainly
have a better chance of getting the job.

Secondly
, it is certain that while doing a
job
aids them to supplement the cost of living and tuition fees. When learning far from my hometown,
students
often
face difficulties such as electricity bills, rental payment
, .
.
.
so
they
make
an effort to cover their daily expenses and even pay back
student
loan debt. Taking part in a working environment partly supports to lessen the financial burdens and alleviate the
stress
of loan payment. If a family has more than two children who are in college, the parents face an issue to support their children for expensive tertiary education. In case, one of them works part-time and supports the family to
some
extent, the parents can divert more resources towards the other child and provide proper education. Considering side hustles is
also
a
good
opportunity to have a life with financial security.
For example
, my brother can afford to
own
what he wants due to
saving
money during a part-time job.

Thirdly
,
a lot of
opponents argue that the
students
would be overwhelming
because
they spend more
time
going to school and even holding down a
job
. For them, the learners
certainly
tend to distract from the studies
as well
as
meet
difficulty in maintaining
good
grades.
Besides
, taking on a part-time
time
job
and your studies at the same
time
requires a
good
level of planning.
However
, when
people
are in trouble, they
must
alter to adapt to the new condition and step out of the comfort zone by drawing up a schedule or determining what is the most
important
issue or how much
time
to complete it.
Also
, overcome the obstacles might be a
big
step to becoming an adult who is independent and responsible for themselves, In consequence, they would gain effective
skills
such as problem-resolving or time-management ones.

In conclusion
, The combination of the early experiences,
skills
and cost of living gives a
plenty
of advantages
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Working while in college is something everyone ought to do. Do you agree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
512 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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