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Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved? v.1

Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved? v. 1
Nowadays people migrating from rural to urban areas are increasing in an exorbitant rate. Population rise in city side is becoming a global issue all around the world. This essay will illustrate some factors contributing to the problem of population explosion in cities and will also elicit certain steps to control it. There are compelling reasons for overpopulation in urban centres. The main motive of people migrating to cities is to pursue a good education which includes degree as well as higher studies. In the countryside, there is a lack of reputed universities and colleges which encourages students to move to cities to develop their intellect. Secondly, in urban areas, there is a plethora of industries and companies which provides astronomical employment opportunities to the aspirants. For example, in India, in the last few decades, numerous multinational companies have recruited a major portion of the graduates to work in their firms located in various countries. This, in turn, inspires more and more people move towards urban centres. However, the Government can solve this problem of urban overpopulation by taking various measures. Firstly, National authorities can upgrade the education system in rural areas by enforcing standards and constructing universities which makes the students to study in their own village itself. Furthermore, they can encourage the students who are doing education in rural areas by providing scholarship and concessions. In addition to this, industries should come forward to open their plants in rural areas which in turn provides job prospects in the countryside. These measures will definitely boost the infrastructure of rural places as well as mitigate the migration of people to cities. Thus, even though overpopulation in urban areas is a growing global problem, there are various means and methods available, by which the Government can prevent this from worsening.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrating from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are increasing in an exorbitant rate. Population rise in city side is becoming a global issue all around the world. This essay will illustrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors contributing to the problem of population explosion in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and will
also
elicit certain steps to control it.

There are compelling reasons for overpopulation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. The main motive of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is to pursue a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education which includes degree
as well
as higher studies. In the countryside, there is a lack of reputed universities and colleges which encourages students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to develop their intellect.
Secondly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, there is a plethora of industries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which provides astronomical employment opportunities to the aspirants.
For example
, in India, in the last few decades, numerous multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have recruited a major portion of the graduates to work in their firms located in various countries. This, in turn, inspires more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.

However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can solve this problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
overpopulation by taking various measures.
Firstly
, National authorities can upgrade the education system in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
by enforcing standards and constructing universities which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the students to study in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
village itself.
Furthermore
, they can encourage the students who are doing education in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
by providing scholarship and concessions.
In addition
to this, industries should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to open their plants in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
which in turn provides job prospects in the countryside. These measures will definitely boost the infrastructure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
places
as well
as mitigate the migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to cities.

Thus
,
even though
overpopulation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is a growing global problem, there are various means and methods available, by which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this from worsening.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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