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In number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe that this money should be spent on improving public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

In number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe that this money should be spent on improving public transport. 1
Effective transportation system is essential for the masses. It is believed by some, that large funds should be used in building new railway lines for fast moving trains to enable transit between cities. However, others believe that this money should be allocated in developing public transport which I concur. Both sides of the argument will be discussed, with a reasoned conclusion drawn. On the one side, a major reason why some people are opined that more funds should be spent on constructing new rails for fast trains is because, it will help to decongest traffic burden on major roads. Most cities are often over populated, as a result of the job opportunities available there; with many people up and moving about their daily activities, they will have to either use their private cars or public buses; hence, the traffic burden increasingly becomes overwhelming. Therefore, with the construction of new railways for fast trains, it will ease traffic gridlock. On the other side, others argue that instead of building new railways, the funds should be diverted in improving public transport, I agree; this is so because, not everyone is comfortable using the fast moving trains. It is recorded in Germany, that 50 percent of people who use fast moving train, come down with motion sickness. Additionally, public means is important for people in rural areas to convey goods to places where trains cannot penetrate. What's more is that, the maintenance of trains is more expensive compared to the regular road transport system, as seen in Germany; the country spends about 40million dollars to keep the railways active, whereas, a quarter of that amount is used to manage the public transportation. For these reasons, developing commercial transportation, should be a main focus of development. In Summary, although people believe that more finance should be spent on the building rails for fast trains to ease jams, I believe that public movement Should not be the main focus of development as it is cheaper to maintain and able to penetrate local areas where trains cannot reach.
Effective transportation system is essential for the masses. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, that large funds should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
lines for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
to enable transit between cities.
However
, others believe that this money should
be allocated
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport which I concur. Both sides of the argument will
be discussed
, with a reasoned conclusion drawn.

On the one side, a major reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are opined
that more funds should
be spent
on constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
rails for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to decongest traffic burden on major roads. Most cities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
over populated,
as a result
of the job opportunities available there; with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
up and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
about their daily activities, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their private cars or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
buses;
hence
, the traffic burden
increasingly
becomes overwhelming.
Therefore
, with the construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
traffic gridlock.

On the other side, others argue that
instead
of building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
, the funds should
be diverted
in improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
; this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, not everyone is comfortable using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
. It
is recorded
in Germany, that 50 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
down with motion sickness.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
means is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in rural areas to convey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to places where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
cannot penetrate. What's more is that, the maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
is more expensive compared to the regular road transport system, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in Germany; the country spends about 40million dollars to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
active, whereas, a quarter of that amount is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to manage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation.

For these reasons, developing commercial transportation, should be a main focus of development.

In Summary, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that more finance should
be spent
on the building rails for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
jams, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
movement Should not be the main focus of development as it is cheaper to maintain and able to penetrate local areas where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
cannot reach.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe that this money should be spent on improving public transport. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
342 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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