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Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. v. 1
Some people argue that it will be more beneficial if governmental institutions invest more in railway systems instead of roads. I do not agree with this statement, since roads are more cost efficient and provide people with higher flexibility. To begin with, it is more expensive build railroads than highways when covering the same distance. Would a government decide to initiate with a railway construction, they will have to face additional costs including, building respective platforms, hiring support staff and constantly maintaining the rails. Instead, the authorities can invest in roads and use the savings in other projects, including healthcare, education or science. A recent study conducted by the students of Yerevan State University, faculty of Economics has shown that construction and maintenance of roads is 30% cheaper than that of railways. Besides that, roads and highways provide with a much wider freedom of choice and flexibility in terms of travel conditions. In other words, with a developed road network the population is able to choose whether to travel via public transportation or a private vehicle. Those people, who possess their own means of transportation will benefit more from newly built roads than from railways, and the remaining will still be able to get to the planned destination by bus or carpooling services. It will therefore be up to the traveler to decide on the timing, the cost and the route of the trip. No wonder, a research by The New York Times published in summer 2017 has shown that only 30% of Americans prefers to travel by trains. To conclude, the benefits of spending money on roads outweigh those of railways both because the former is efficient and because it provides people with alternative travel options.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that it will be more beneficial if governmental institutions invest more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
systems
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are more
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cost efficient
and provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with higher flexibility.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is more expensive build railroads than highways when covering the same distance. Would a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
decide to initiate with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
construction, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face additional costs including, building respective platforms, hiring support staff and
constantly
maintaining the rails.
Instead
, the authorities can invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the savings in other projects, including healthcare, education or science. A recent study conducted by the students of Yerevan State University, faculty of Economics has shown that construction and maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
is 30% cheaper than that of railways.

Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and highways provide with a much wider freedom of choice and flexibility in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
conditions.
In other words
, with a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
network the population is able to choose whether to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
via public transportation or a private vehicle. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who possess their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
means of transportation will benefit more from
newly
built
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
than from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
, and the remaining will
still
be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the planned destination by bus or carpooling services. It will
therefore
be up to the traveler to decide on the timing, the cost and the route of the trip. No wonder,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
by The New York Times published in summer 2017 has shown that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
30% of Americans prefers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by trains.

To conclude
, the benefits of spending money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
outweigh those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the former is efficient and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
options.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Governments should spend more money on railways rather than roads. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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