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Overpopulation of many urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this and how can this problem be solved? v.1

Overpopulation of many urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this and how can this problem be solved? v. 1
With world population reaching 7 billion of people, most of them live in urban centres. In fact, among the last few centuries, mankind has left the countryside in order to find employment and a better life in industrial areas, yet causing a problem of cities overpopulation. In my opinion, though, there are a number of possible solutions that have to be taken into account. A few reasons have led to this issue: one of those can be found quite back in time. As a matter of fact, it was during the industrial revolution that people started migrating front the countryside to the cities, in order to find a job in factories. With the consequence that this phenomenon has pushed industrial areas into degradation and poverty. However, there is another yet opposite reason: today third-world cities population is exponentially growing because of widespread unemployment and poverty, along with a total absence of birth control and social prevention. Solutions can be suggested to face this world-spread problem. On one hand, birth control policies should be considered as a start, especially in countries like China, India and Brazil, were the most of the so called megalopolis find place. On the other hand, the governments of those countries that are most affected by the issue, should offer a better social assistance, also trying to provide new job positions outside the cities, pushing for a requalification of the countryside, in order to spread urban population. In conclusion, urban overpopulation is a world-spread issue, which impact is exponentially growing. In my opinion, only the activism of policy makers would help changing the situation, with social sensibilisation as well as with providing a wide number of new occupations outside the city environment.
With world population reaching 7 billion of
people
, most of them
live
in urban
centres
. In fact, among the last few centuries, mankind has
left
the countryside in order to find employment and a better life in industrial areas,
yet
causing a problem of
cities
overpopulation. In my opinion, though, there are a number of possible solutions that
have to
be taken
into account.

A few reasons have led to this issue: one of those can
be found
quite back in time. As a matter of fact, it was during the industrial revolution that
people
started
migrating front the countryside to the
cities
, in order to find a job in factories. With the consequence that this phenomenon has pushed industrial areas into degradation and poverty.
However
, there is another
yet
opposite reason:
today
third-world
cities
population is
exponentially
growing
because
of widespread unemployment and poverty, along with a total absence of birth control and social prevention.

Solutions can
be suggested
to face this world-spread problem. On one hand, birth control policies should
be considered
as a
start
,
especially
in countries like China, India and Brazil, were the most of the
so called
megalopolis find place.

On the other hand
, the
governments
of those countries that are most
affected
by the issue, should offer a better social assistance,
also
trying to provide new job positions outside the
cities
, pushing for a
requalification
of the countryside, in order to spread urban population.

In conclusion
, urban overpopulation is a world-spread issue, which impact is
exponentially
growing. In my opinion,
only
the activism of
policy makers
would
help
changing
the situation, with social
sensibilisation
as well
as with providing a wide number of new occupations outside the city environment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
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IELTS essay Overpopulation of many urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this and how can this problem be solved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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