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For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extent do you agree? v.1

For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. v. 1
Education over the years has been developed and changed drastically. A plethora of subjects have been amended, or even replaced to more advance ones in order to cope with new life demands, but still reading writing and scientific subjects such as math are usually remain as the core of any education system. However, the advent of innovative technology such as computer and the advantages that it makes, forced educators to consider it as important as other subjects in any students’ curriculum. I totally agree with that and this essay will explore this issue in further detail and before coming to a conclusion. On one hand, people should always be flexible and open minded by encouraging their children to learn more about computers in order to flourish their societies. To begin with, there is no doubt that everything nowadays are operating through most sophisticated computers. Since it gives very high accuracy and facilitate very complicated situations. For example, all aircrafts have autodrivers which’s operate via advance computers in order to get an accurate data about the trip and sometimes to take the lead in very dangerous circumstances that it difficult to be handled by human being with the same accuracy. Moreover, such technology might help lots of scientists to improve and discover the world. For instance, NASA relies on certain devices which’s mainly operate by computers to get more information and photos about other planets. On the other hand, it’s irrefutable that nations who are not teaching computers as a major subjects will eventually suffer a lot. To illustrate, there is a conspicuous gap between developed and developing nations in many essential life aspects such as transportations, education, health care and so many others due to poor technology infrastructure. As all of these services are old fashion which’s limiting their progression. To sum up, computers undoubtedly become one of the major subjects for students. Since it has the obvious positive impact on various essential life facilities.
Education over the years has
been developed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
. A plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
have
been amended
, or even replaced to more advance ones in order to cope with new life demands,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
reading writing and scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as math are
usually
Consider using a past participle here: "remained".
remain
as the core of any education system.
However
, the advent of innovative technology such as computer and the advantages that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
, forced educators to consider it as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in any students’ curriculum. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that and this essay will explore this issue in
further
detail and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to a conclusion.

On one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should always be flexible and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
open minded
by encouraging their children to learn more about computers in order to flourish their societies. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is no doubt that everything nowadays are operating through most sophisticated computers. Since it gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high accuracy and facilitate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complicated situations.
For example
, all
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "aircraft", the plural form of the noun 'aircraft'?
aircrafts have
Possible spelling mistake found.
autodrivers
which’s operate via advance computers in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an accurate data about the trip and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
to take the lead in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
circumstances that
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
difficult to
be handled
by human being with the same accuracy.
Moreover
, such technology might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
lots of scientists to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and discover the world.
For instance
, NASA relies on certain devices which’s
mainly
Consider using a past participle here: "operated".
operate
by computers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information and photos about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
planets.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it’s irrefutable that nations who are not teaching computers as a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will
eventually
suffer a lot. To illustrate, there is a conspicuous gap between developed and developing nations in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
essential life aspects such as transportations, education, health care and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others due to poor technology infrastructure.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
all of these services are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
fashion which’s limiting their progression.

To sum up, computers
undoubtedly
become one of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for students.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
it has the obvious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on various essential life facilities.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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