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For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extent do you agree? v.2

For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. v. 2
Education over the year change drastically. In the past, essential areas of education was reading, writing and maths. However, in recent years type of education changed and now people have an opinion that laptops and desktops should be added into important subjects list. I agree with this view because of data accuracy, work shifting to computer system and future growth. To begin with, there are many tasks performed by humans in the past, but in recent year majority of these tasks are assigned to computers. In the past all the designing and development of cars are done individuals. Although, this trend has been changed now and in factory production has been done by various process and all handle by computer's. To illustrate with an example, Indian auto manufacturing company Tata replaced all manpower with computers in their factories. In addition, studing computers have good chances of future growth for any student. As the world changes drastically, all the work is shifting to computer. To exemplify, previously all the data handled by an individual are maintained as physical records, but nowadays these data record work transfer to computers such as excel and word docs. Thus, computers become an important subject. Secondly, computers gives more accurate data. In the twentieth century, many countries start sending there spaceship on the moon and after launching their path depend on various complex calculations which cannot be done by humans. Computers provide more accurate and correct calculation which helps scientist to analysis the path of the rocket. For example, last year India launch sends a rocket on the moon and uses their super computer to calculate its path which was impossible by humans To conclude, reading, writing and maths are an essential part of education and for a long time these were only three important subjects in studies. Although, recent years due to various needs computer are also added into this list due to its accuracy and future growth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
drastically
. In the past, essential areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was reading, writing and
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
.
However
, in recent years type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have an opinion that laptops and desktops should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subjects list. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
accuracy, work shifting to computer system and future growth.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tasks performed by humans in the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
majority of these tasks
are assigned
to computers. In the past all the designing and development of cars
are done
individuals. Although, this trend has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and in factory production has
been done
by various process and all handle by computer's. To illustrate with an example, Indian auto manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
Tata replaced all manpower with computers in their factories.
In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
studing
computers have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
chances of future growth for any student. As the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
drastically
, all the work is shifting to computer. To exemplify, previously all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
handled by an individual
are maintained
as physical records,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
record work transfer to computers such as excel and word docs.
Thus
, computers become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subject.

Secondly
, computers gives more accurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
. In the twentieth century,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
sending there spaceship on the moon and after launching their path depend on various complex calculations which cannot
be done
by humans. Computers provide more accurate and correct calculation which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
scientist to analysis the path of the rocket.
For example
, last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
India launch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sends
a rocket on the moon and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
their super computer to calculate its path which was impossible by
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
humans


To conclude
, reading, writing and
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
are an essential part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and for a long time these were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subjects in studies. Although, recent years due to various
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "needs'" or "need's"?
needs
computer are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
into this list due to its accuracy and future growth.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay For centuries, important parts of education have remained such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skill be made as a fourth skill to be added to the list. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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