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People prefer to communicate through social media and internet rather than face-to-face meetings. Is this positive or negative? v.1

People prefer to communicate through social media and internet rather than face-to-face meetings. Is this positive or negative? v. 1
Nowadays, communication through social media and the World Wide Web have been preferred by some people rather than direct meetings. I disagree with that; it harms our life. This essay shows the disadvantages of communicating through the internet and phone applications and their effect on societal norms. Firstly, dealings with others by using Social networking programs such as Facebook and WhatsApp are slowly killing activism and replacing it with slacktivism. Moreover, it creates a great gap between family members. In addition to that, media sharing has encouraged the public to use computers and mobile phones to express their concerns on social issues without actually having to engage actively with others in real life, which is against societal norms. For instance, research from a societal magazine in 2019 showed that the crack among family members was increasing by 30% from 2017 to 2018. As almost a quarter the world’s population is now on Facebook. Secondly, the rise of using internet communicating applications around the globe hurts interpersonal communication skills. People are depending on indirect communications with others they have low personal communications skills. For example, in 2018, a study has been published by the New York Times newspaper reported that communication skills of people who are using interpersonal communications have a high level of communication skills rather than who depend on indirect communication during social media network. In conclusion, the power of social media and the internet have shifted the balance from the hands of a few to the masses. Therefore, communications through their effect on our social and ethical behaviour. I believe that face to Face meetings are still the most effective way to communicate with others.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and the World Wide Web have
been preferred
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rather
than direct meetings. I disagree with that; it harms our life. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the disadvantages of communicating through the internet and phone applications and their effect on societal norms.

Firstly
, dealings with others by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networking programs such as Facebook and WhatsApp are
slowly
killing activism and replacing it with
Possible spelling mistake found.
slacktivism
.
Moreover
, it creates a great gap between family members.
In addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
sharing has encouraged the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers and mobile phones to express their concerns on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
issues without actually having to engage
actively
with others in real life, which is against societal norms.
For instance
, research from a societal magazine in 2019
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the crack among family members was increasing by 30% from 2017 to 2018. As almost a quarter the world’s population is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
on Facebook.

Secondly
, the rise of using internet communicating applications around the globe hurts interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on indirect communications with others they have low personal communications
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For example
, in 2018, a study has
been published
by the New York Times newspaper reported that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are using interpersonal communications have a high level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
rather
than
Did you mean "whom"?
who
depend on indirect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
network.

In conclusion
, the power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and the internet have shifted the balance from the hands of a few to the masses.
Therefore
, communications through their effect on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and ethical
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. I believe that face to Face meetings are
still
the most effective way to communicate with others.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay People prefer to communicate through social media and internet rather than face-to-face meetings. Is this positive or negative? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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