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Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problem has this caused? What solutions can you suggest to this issue? v.3

Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problem has this caused? What solutions can you suggest to this issue? v. 3
Most women we see on television or in advertisements, are portrayed as young and slim irrespective of their age or the nature of their work. This creates a mindset among the people that this is how an ideal woman should be like. In my opinion, this is not fair. The media should act more responsibly and portray women for their accomplishments rather than their body type. Although it is essential for women working as models and actresses to maintain a slim body structure, sometimes they tend to become competitive and career driven and end up developing health disorders like anorexia. It has also become common for teenagers aspiring to become an actress or a model to develop eating disorders in order to remain slim. Also, such careers have a short shelf life and mostly, after crossing the age of 30, opportunities of finding a job become very rare. This causes the women to go into depression and ultimately some of them commit suicide. One way to overcome this problem is to encourage the media to show realistic programs. For example, movies should show women as strong, independent and career oriented rather than slim and petite. In my opinion, we also require more television series focusing on powerful women who brought about a change in the society such as Indira Gandhi or Rani Laxmibai. This will help to eliminate the existing stereotypes of women. To conclude, media must create awareness among the public that it is not necessary for a woman to be young and thin in order to be perfect. What matters more is that the women should be educated and independent. This approach will also empower more women and bring about a change in the society.
Most
women
we
see
on television or in advertisements,
are portrayed
as young and slim irrespective of their age or the nature of their work. This creates a mindset among the
people
that this is how an ideal woman should be like. In my opinion, this is not
fair
. The media should act more
responsibly
and portray
women
for their accomplishments
rather
than their body type.

Although it is essential for
women
working as models and actresses to maintain a slim body structure,
sometimes
they tend to
become
competitive and career driven and
end
up developing health disorders like anorexia. It has
also
become
common for
teenagers
aspiring to
become
an actress or a model to develop eating disorders in order to remain slim.
Also
, such careers have a short shelf life and
mostly
, after crossing the age of 30, opportunities of finding a job
become
very
rare. This causes the
women
to go into depression and
ultimately
some
of them commit suicide.

One way to overcome this problem is to encourage the media to
show
realistic programs.
For example
, movies should
show
women
as strong, independent and career oriented
rather
than slim and petite. In my opinion, we
also
require more television series focusing on powerful
women
who brought about a
change
in the society such as Indira Gandhi or
Rani
Laxmibai
. This will
help
to eliminate the existing stereotypes of women.

To conclude
, media
must
create awareness among the public that it is not necessary for a woman to be young and thin in order to be perfect. What matters more is that the
women
should
be educated
and independent. This approach will
also
empower more
women
and bring about a
change
in the society.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Over the last few decades, the media has promoted the image of young thin women as being ideal. What problem has this caused? What solutions can you suggest to this issue? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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