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ou recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter: describe the problem with the equipmentexplain what happened when you phoned the s v.1

ou recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter: describe the problem with the equipmentexplain what happened when you phoned the s v. 1
Many schools today, are offering devices such as tablets and laptops to do schoolworks instead of the traditional paper based homeworks or exams in a classroom setting. Some think that it has been a great help in terms of speed and comfort, but others see its drawbacks especially, when it comes to mental health. These factors are to be discussed in this essay. On one hand, lots of individuals mentioned that this development has been a positive experience for them. This is because of the fact that they can prepare their assignments faster. Unlike before, for an instance, students tend to go to the library, searching for books and scanning a lot. Now, they can search in their laptops, through the use of internet, scholarly articles and journals for their researches. Furthermore, this setup allows them to submit paperworks without the hassle of going to the school and meeting with the professor; making it really convenient. Hence, that's why this is becoming a popular trend these days. On the other hand, some commented that this change has brought negative impacts in their lives. One would be its psychological effect which is lack of motivation. The study shows that students who do homeschooling through computers tend to be unmotivated and not finish a certain course. Students, however, who takes exam in a classroom setting gets more enthusiastic in preparing for it because of the thought that their professors will be there proctoring them. Thus, others prefer the old system than the new one. In conclusion, this trend has brought advantages such as speed and convenience to students, but it also came with problems which affects their motivation. Nonetheless, schools should be cautious in implementing these changes and be mindful of the pupils’ health and capabilities while learning in their institutions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, are offering devices such as tablets and laptops to do
Possible spelling mistake found.
schoolworks
instead
of the traditional paper based
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
or exams in a classroom setting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it has been a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in terms of speed and comfort,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
its drawbacks
especially
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to mental health. These factors are to
be discussed
in this essay.

On one hand, lots of individuals mentioned that this development has been a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
experience for them. This is
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
they can prepare their assignments faster. Unlike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, for an instance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to go to the library, searching for books and scanning a lot.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, they can search in their laptops, through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet,
scholarly
articles and journals for their researches.
Furthermore
, this setup
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to submit
Possible spelling mistake found.
paperworks
without the hassle of going to the school and meeting with the professor; making it
really
convenient.
Hence
, that's why this is becoming a popular trend these days.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
commented that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. One would be its psychological effect which is lack of motivation. The study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go homeschooling".
do homeschooling
through computers tend to
be unmotivated
and not finish a certain course.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
,
however
, who takes exam in a classroom setting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more enthusiastic in preparing for it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that their professors will be there proctoring them.
Thus
, others prefer the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
system than the new one.

In conclusion
, this trend has brought advantages such as speed and convenience to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
came with problems which affects their motivation. Nonetheless, schools should be cautious in implementing these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and be mindful of the pupils’ health and capabilities while learning in their institutions.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay ou recently bought a piece of equipment for your kitchen but it did not work. You phoned the shop but no action was taken. Write a letter to the shop manager. In your letter: describe the problem with the equipmentexplain what happened when you phoned the s v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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