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Organized tours to remote places and communities is increasingly popular Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and environment v.2

Organized tours to remote places and communities is increasingly popular Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and environment v. 2
It is true that the prevalence of tourism in remote areas has been expanded over that past few years. While I accept that it may exert detrimental impacts, I believe that this trend also bring about several advantages. On the one hand, there are two major minuses when tourists wander off the beaten tracks. Regarding to local people, cultural clashes, happening when visitors lack respects for tradition and regulations, stand out as the most discernible inconvenience. Indeed, if foreigners behave inappropriately and violate destinations’ codes of conduct, this will not only pose an unprecedented threat to social orders and tranquility, but also cause a loss of moral and religious values. Regarding to the environment, such types of travel as ecotourism or wildlife safaris make attraction thronged with tourists, and this is believed to create an excessive pressure on limited resources and infrastructures. Consequently, scenery depletion and ecological crisis are predicted to occupy remote areas due to mass tourism. On the other hand, travel to isolated regions is also recognized to be advantageous because of several benefits. Firstly, the more visitors experience local natural and cultural heritage, the more likely their images and identity of locals are to go viral. Therefore, this may help citizens raise public awareness of their importance, as well as stimulate interests and involvement in conservation, which has puzzled authorities for years. Secondly, another gain stems from financial values. In particular, in order to have the holiday of a lifetime, travelers often do not hesitate to break the bank, so their expense is thought to contribute to a massive influx of money for the destination. In brief, it seems to me that traveling to remote areas has a double-edged impact on both residents and the society.
It is true that the prevalence of tourism in remote areas has
been expanded
over that past few years. While I accept that it may exert detrimental impacts, I believe that this trend
also
bring about several advantages.

On the one hand, there are two major minuses when tourists wander off the beaten
tracks
.
Regarding to
local
people
, cultural clashes, happening when visitors lack respects for tradition and regulations, stand out as the most discernible inconvenience.
Indeed
, if foreigners behave
inappropriately
and violate destinations’ codes of conduct, this will not
only
pose an unprecedented threat to social orders and tranquility,
but
also
cause a loss of moral and religious values.
Regarding to
the environment, such types of travel as ecotourism or wildlife safaris
make
attraction thronged with tourists, and this
is believed
to create an excessive pressure on limited resources and infrastructures.
Consequently
, scenery depletion and ecological crisis
are predicted
to occupy remote areas due to mass tourism.

On the other hand
, travel to isolated regions is
also
recognized to be advantageous
because
of several benefits.
Firstly
, the more visitors experience local natural and cultural heritage, the more likely their images and identity of locals are to go viral.
Therefore
, this may
help
citizens raise public awareness of their importance,
as well
as stimulate interests and involvement in conservation, which has puzzled authorities for years.
Secondly
, another gain stems from financial values.
In particular
, in order to have the holiday of a lifetime, travelers
often
do not hesitate to break the bank,
so
their expense is
thought
to contribute to a massive influx of money for the destination.

In brief
, it seems to me that traveling to remote areas has a double-edged impact on both residents and the society.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS essay Organized tours to remote places and communities is increasingly popular Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and environment v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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