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Organized tours to remote community and other countries are increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for local people and the local environment? v.1

Organized tours to remote community and other countries are increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for local people and the local environment? v. 1
It is true that tours to remote and exotic places on the earth have gained popularity in recent years. While this has several benefits for the local community, I believe that overall the negative consequences are more significant. Admittedly, the growth of the tourism industry has brought enormous benefits to local people. More tourists means greater demand for food, accommodation and services, all of which create job opportunities and help to alleviate unemployment in the area. The development of tourism also has ripple effects on local infrastructure, with more roads and bridges being built to meet the need of tourists. This can be seen in the case of ABC, a coastal city and also a tourist destination in [your country]. The biggest disadvantage of the trend is, however, its adverse effects on the pristine environment and creatures living there. Forests may be cut down to make way for resorts and hotels; marine life might be threatened due to water pollution, and birds have to find other places to inhabit. In some places, waste from the hotel industry is becoming an environmental problem that concerns many people, not just environmentalists. Another drawback is that increased tourism may break social cohesion in the local community. Many people make a living by providing services for travellers and become rich while many others remain poor and struggle for the next meal. This wealth gap is gradually widening and has detrimental impacts on the bond and the shared values of indigenous individuals. In conclusion, although the growth of tourism to remote areas and exotic countries is beneficial to some extent, it is more likely to have harmful impacts on local people and the environment.
It is true that tours to remote and exotic places on the earth have gained popularity in recent years. While this has several benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community, I believe that
overall
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences are more significant.

Admittedly
, the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry has brought enormous benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. More tourists means greater demand for food, accommodation and services, all of which create job opportunities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to alleviate unemployment in the area. The development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
also
has ripple effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
infrastructure, with more roads and bridges
being built
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the need of tourists. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the case of ABC, a coastal city and
also
a tourist destination in [your country].

The biggest disadvantage of the trend is,
however
, its adverse effects on the pristine environment and creatures living there. Forests may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for resorts and hotels; marine life might
be threatened
due to water pollution, and birds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find other places to inhabit. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places, waste from the hotel industry is becoming an environmental problem that concerns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
environmentalists. Another drawback is that increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
may break social cohesion in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a living by providing services for
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
and become rich while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others remain poor and struggle for the
next
meal. This wealth gap is
gradually
widening and has detrimental impacts on the bond and the shared values of indigenous individuals.

In conclusion
, although the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
to remote areas and exotic countries is beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, it is more likely to have harmful impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the environment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS essay Organized tours to remote community and other countries are increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for local people and the local environment? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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