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Many teenagers today find it difficult to balance the demands of their study at school and the share of household chores at home. What do you think are the causes of this situation and what can family members do to reduce the problem? v.2

Many teenagers today find it difficult to balance the demands of their study at school and the share of household chores at home. What do you think are the causes of this situation and what can family members do to reduce the problem? v. 2
Students nowadays have difficulties in keeping the balance between studying at school and doing housework at home. There are some causes of this problematic issue and solutions to this. There are many factors contributing to this matter. First and foremost, it is caused by pressure from studying at school. The more competitive studying at school is, the more homework students are given, hence, they spend most of their time doing exercises, which leads to the lack of time to do household chores. Secondly, students have obligations to take part in after-school activities such as extracurricular activities including sports. Some recent research show that they have to study for 8 hours at school a day and 4 hours at home at average, which isn' t possible to share household chores with other family members. Therefore, people have to take actions to resolve this problem, especially family members. First of all, family members are able to reduce their amount of housework by doing it for them. To be specific, while the parent at home can prepare for meals for family, washing dishes wasting about 15 minutes is more suitable for children. Next, parents should provide students guidance to learn how to better manager their time, get organized, which are all important life skill. They can also tutor their students and give them new materials or how to take notes and study. In conclusion, although it has become a difficulty for students as its reasons, they are able to overcome these difficulties if their parents help them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
nowadays have difficulties in keeping the balance between studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and doing housework at home. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes of this problematic issue and solutions to this.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors contributing to this matter.
First
and foremost, it
is caused
by pressure from studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. The more competitive studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is, the more homework
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
,
hence
, they spend most of their time doing exercises, which leads to the lack of time to do household chores.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have obligations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in after-school activities such as extracurricular activities including sports.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
recent research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study for 8 hours at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
a day and 4 hours at home at average, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
isn&
#039; t possible to share household chores with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take actions to resolve this problem,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their amount of housework by doing it for them. To be specific, while the parent at home can prepare for meals for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, washing dishes wasting about 15 minutes is more suitable for children.
Next
, parents should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
guidance to learn how to better manager their time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
organized, which are all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. They can
also
tutor their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and give them new materials or how to take notes and study.

In conclusion
, although it has become a difficulty for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as its reasons, they are able to overcome these difficulties if their parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many teenagers today find it difficult to balance the demands of their study at school and the share of household chores at home. What do you think are the causes of this situation and what can family members do to reduce the problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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