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Organized tour to remote community and other countries is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and environment? v.6

Organized tour to remote community and other countries is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and environment? v. 6
In present day, rapid growth in the number of package tours to secluded parts of the world mark a new tendency of the tourism industry. Even though this development is beneficial to the local residents in terms of economy and living conditions, it can have detrimental effects on the environmental and social security of these areas. Admittedly, increasing package holiday tours to rural areas are closely associated with the growth of the economy and the infrastructure development. Firstly, it creates more employments in the local areas as the job market for tourist related services frequently needs human resources. This in turn provides a stable income for local residents. Secondly, in order to achieve an increment in tourist arrivals, local authorities tend to enhance the quality of basic amenities and important infrastructure in these locations such as installation of water pipes, electricity, improvement of healthcare and construction of better roads. These facilities can make local's lives less difficult in remote areas. However, the expansion of package tours to isolated areas can bring negative impacts to the local environment and public security. The construction of tourism facilities can drastically change the area losing habitat to local species. Also, environmentally unconscious visitors may throw litter everywhere by increasing the pollution around the previously unspoilt areas. Furthermore, massive groups of tourist arrivals to these remote communities may lead to a serious risk of security as the visitors can have disrespectful behaviour to the customs of local people or involve themselves in illegal acts. In conclusion, the rapid growth in popularity of organized tours to isolated destinations could bring about both advantages and drawbacks to the lives of local dwellers. Local authorities must have adopt careful planning and issue reasonable policies in order to boost the tourism economy while reducing its negative influences on these areas.
In present day, rapid growth in the number of package
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tours
to secluded parts of the world mark a new tendency of the tourism industry.
Even though
this development is beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents in terms of economy and living conditions, it can have detrimental effects on the environmental and social security of these areas.

Admittedly
, increasing package holiday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tours
to rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are
closely
associated with the growth of the economy and the infrastructure development.
Firstly
, it creates more employments in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
as the job market for tourist related services
frequently
needs human resources. This in turn provides a stable income for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents.
Secondly
, in order to achieve an increment in tourist arrivals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
authorities tend to enhance the quality of basic amenities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
infrastructure in these locations such as installation of water pipes, electricity, improvement of healthcare and construction of better roads. These facilities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
local's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
less difficult in remote areas.

However
, the expansion of package
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tours
to isolated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
environment and public security. The construction of tourism facilities can
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
losing habitat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
species.
Also
,
environmentally
unconscious visitors may throw litter everywhere by increasing the pollution around the previously
Possible spelling mistake found.
unspoilt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Furthermore
, massive groups of tourist arrivals to these remote communities may lead to a serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of security as the visitors can have disrespectful
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
to the customs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or involve themselves in illegal acts.

In conclusion
, the rapid growth in popularity of organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tours
to isolated destinations could bring about both advantages and drawbacks to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
dwellers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
Use past participle here: "adopted".
adopt
careful planning and issue reasonable policies in order to boost the tourism economy while reducing its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Organized tour to remote community and other countries is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and environment? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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