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Optimal Foraging Food provides animals with the energy they need to survive However animals also lose energy in the process of obtaining or foraging for food Therefore in order to conserve energy many animals behave in ways that minimize the energy they e v.1

Optimal Foraging Food provides animals with the energy they need to survive However animals also lose energy in the process of obtaining or foraging for food Therefore in order to conserve energy many animals behave in ways that minimize the energy they e v. 1
Ways to enhance health in public has been a controversial topic. Although it is believed by several people that building more sports facilities is the most ideal way to make the health of people in the community better, whereas, others consider that it is ineffective and that other methods are needed. From my perspective, while I agree that increasing sports conveniences has many effects on public health, I, in the meantime, think that there are other ways that are required simultaneously with it, and the reasons for my opinion and further information about it will be outlined in the following essay. With regard to athletic facilities, there are plenty of favourable aspects. People residing in the region with many places for doing sports: namely, sports centres, swimming pools and parks are able to improve their fitness due to the augmentation in their opportunities to exercise. Not only this, but poor people can also have a chance to do physical activity, which might result in becoming more fit, which will probably, in turn, prevent them from having diseases, as a consequence of better immunity. With no doubt, participating in physical activities are obviously beneficial to people’s strength either physically or mentally because it has been proven that people who play sports regularly are more likely to be fitter, in comparison to who is not. Hence, we can clearly see why some people are of the view that having more sports facilities is the best way to make an advancement in public health. Nevertheless, even though doing a physical activity can effectively develop the population’s healthiness, however, I believe that other measures need to be followed as well, creating an exceptional result. There are various significant ways to lift residents’ physical wellness. The first and most noticeable one is having a balanced diet, meaning that people should eat nutritious food and avoid eatable that contains a lot of fat or sugar, which may result in plenty of diseases, diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure, for instance. Furthermore, they should be aware that the amount of food supplied to the body is not too much, hence they should not add extra calories or over-consumed. Another practical method is to set up more medical facilities such as clinics and hospitals, leading to a reduction in mortality rate because sick people, both men and women, can access health care easier and spend less for the medical fee. In conclusion, I consider that having more sports facilities in the society alone is not sufficient. If people do a physical activity together with sticking to a healthy diet, it will lead to the best outcome. Subsequently, the government should construct more places for playing sports, as well as health centres, and influence people eat healthy food.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ways
to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in public has been a controversial topic. Although it
is believed
by several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that building more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities is the most ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the community better, whereas, others consider that it is ineffective and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods
are needed
. From my perspective, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
conveniences has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effects on public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, I, in the meantime,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
that
are required
simultaneously
with it, and the reasons for my opinion and
further
information about it will
be outlined
in the following essay.

With regard to athletic facilities, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
aspects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
residing in the region with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
:
namely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, swimming pools and parks are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their fitness due to the augmentation in their opportunities to exercise. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
have a chance to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, which might result in becoming more fit, which will
probably
, in turn,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
diseases, as a consequence of better immunity. With no doubt, participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
obviously
beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
strength either
physically
or mentally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has
been proven
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
regularly
are more likely to be fitter,
in comparison
to who is not.
Hence
, we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an advancement in public health.

Nevertheless
,
even though
doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
can
effectively
develop the population’s healthiness,
however
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
measures need to
be followed
as well
, creating an exceptional result. There are various significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to lift residents’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
wellness. The
first
and most noticeable one is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a balanced diet, meaning that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should eat nutritious food and avoid eatable that contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
or sugar, which may result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of diseases, diabetes, obesity and high blood pressure,
for instance
.
Furthermore
, they should be aware that the amount of food supplied to the body is not too much,
hence
they should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
extra calories or over-consumed. Another practical method is to set up more medical facilities such as clinics and hospitals, leading to a reduction in mortality rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women, can access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care easier and spend less for the medical fee.

In conclusion
, I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities in the society alone is not sufficient. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
together with sticking to a healthy diet, it will lead to the best outcome.
Subsequently
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should construct more places for playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
, and influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eat healthy food.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Optimal Foraging Food provides animals with the energy they need to survive However animals also lose energy in the process of obtaining or foraging for food Therefore in order to conserve energy many animals behave in ways that minimize the energy they e v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
459 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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