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Today's society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today's lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your viewpoint of this situation? v.1

Today's society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today's lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your viewpoint of this situation? v. 1
Although, the diets and physical activities are helping people in reducing their weight, the major factors like quality of food and lifestyle should be taken into consideration. I strongly agree with this context. To begin with, proper diet has to be maintained to stay fit and healthy. A meal, which is rich in nutrition is necessary post workout. However, the results are not gained at the earliest, if the intake is not adequate for the body. Besides following a good diet, if the quality of the food consumed is poor, then it leads to repercussions. For example, a bodybuilder might not achieve better results in his physique, if the food which he intakes is of low quality. Thus, a diet, which is of high quality is required to maintain fitness. On the other hand, the lifestyle will impact on physical appearance of the people, which includes eating and drinking habits. In other words, consumption of alcohol and having fast foods, which are rich in fatty acids will badly affect individual's health. For example, a survey conducted on rural and urban areas shows that the rate of obese people in civilized areas are more compared to those in pastoral areas. In addition, the people are rich enough to afford a air-conditioned car, which is used as a means of transport while travelling to the gym. Thus, this luxurious way of living of people is affecting their health. To conclude, though the society offers facilities such as fitness centres to reduce weight, people are not benefited by this amenities, due to thier bad habits and low quality foods.
Although, the diets and physical activities are helping
people
in reducing their weight, the major factors like
quality
of
food
and lifestyle should
be taken
into consideration. I
strongly
agree
with this context.

To
begin
with, proper diet
has to
be maintained
to stay fit and healthy. A meal, which is rich in nutrition is necessary post workout.
However
, the results are not gained at the earliest, if the intake is not adequate for the body.
Besides
following a
good
diet, if the
quality
of the
food
consumed is poor, then it leads to repercussions.
For example
, a bodybuilder might not achieve better results in his physique, if the
food
which
he intakes
is of low
quality
.
Thus
, a diet, which is of high
quality
is required
to maintain fitness.

On the other hand
, the lifestyle will impact on physical appearance of the
people
, which includes eating and drinking habits.
In other words
, consumption of alcohol and having
fast
foods
, which are rich in fatty acids will
badly
affect individual's health.
For example
, a survey conducted on rural and urban areas
shows
that the rate of obese
people
in civilized areas are more compared to those in pastoral areas.
In addition
, the
people
are rich
enough
to afford
a
air-conditioned car, which is
used
as a means of transport while travelling to the gym.
Thus
, this luxurious way of living of
people
is affecting their health.

To conclude
, though the society offers facilities such as fitness
centres
to
reduce
weight,
people
are not benefited by
this
amenities, due to
thier
bad
habits and low
quality
foods
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Today's society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today's lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your viewpoint of this situation? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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