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Online shopping is significantly increasing. What effects does this have on the environment and the types of jobs required. v.1

Online shopping is significantly increasing. What effects does this have on the environment and the types of jobs required. v. 1
In present, buying items from the internet is becoming increasingly popular. In this essay, the impact of purchasing goods online on environment will be discussed as well, as the kinds of jobs demanded. A significant amount of people prefer online shopping over going shopping by yourself in the shopping center. The fact that conventional shopping is unpopular, has had a huge impact on the surrounding environment. Numerous receipts are made of long-decomposed materials such as plastic, issued to customers after purchasing a product. A slump in conventional shopping industry, led to decrease in the number of thrown checks, thus beneficially affecting nature. However, a rise in demand for online shopping has resulted in increasing number of planes flying to deliver orders. Thereby, aircrafts emit huge amounts of carbon dioxide, water vapor and nitrogen oxides into the atmosphere. To illustrate, there are 138 thousands commercial flights a day in the world. An increasing popularity of shopping on the Internet, has significantly modified types of employees requested. Professions where a person works in stores in the shopping center are now unclaimed, whereas jobs connected to delivery, such as logistician are in high demand. This also creates a huge amount of new works and give an opportunity for some employees to work from home which was unimaginable in the past. For instance, freelancer, online supervisor and web designer are newly introduced jobs. To conclude, an increase in online shopping popularity has affected environment in both beneficial and detrimental sides. Furthermore, it formed numerous new jobs as well as forced some individuals to leave their workplaces.
In present, buying items from the internet is becoming
increasingly
popular. In this essay, the impact of purchasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
on environment will
be discussed
as well
, as the kinds of jobs demanded.

A significant amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
over going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
by yourself in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
center. The fact that conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is unpopular, has had a huge impact on the surrounding environment. Numerous receipts
are made
of long-decomposed materials such as plastic, issued to customers after purchasing a product. A slump in conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
industry, led to decrease in the number of thrown
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
,
thus
beneficially
affecting nature.
However
, a rise in demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has resulted in increasing number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
flying to deliver orders. Thereby,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "aircraft", the plural form of the noun 'aircraft'?
aircrafts
emit huge amounts of carbon dioxide, water vapor and nitrogen oxides into the atmosphere. To illustrate, there are 138 thousands commercial flights a day in the world.

An increasing popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the Internet, has
significantly
modified types of employees requested. Professions where a person works in stores in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
center are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
unclaimed, whereas jobs connected to delivery, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
logistician
are in high demand. This
also
creates a huge amount of new works and give an opportunity for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employees to work from home which was unimaginable in the past.
For instance
, freelancer,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
supervisor and web designer are
newly
introduced jobs.

To conclude
, an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
popularity has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
environment in both beneficial and detrimental sides.
Furthermore
, it formed numerous new jobs
as well
as forced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their workplaces.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Online shopping is significantly increasing. What effects does this have on the environment and the types of jobs required. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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