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Online shopping is significantly increasing. What effects does this have on the environment and the types of jobs required? v.2

Online shopping is significantly increasing. What effects does this have on the environment and the types of jobs required? v. 2
In recent days, shopping has become an effortless task, without going to the mall or expending too much hour searching for specific items. You can get what you want exactly with one click via the internet. This essay will explore the impact of online shopping on the environment and the types of work needed. Nowadays online shopping is becoming popular in over the world. Shopping using the internet has a remarkable influence on the environment. A good illustration of this is reduced the traffic jam. People are able to purchase any stuff via the internet without going market by private car or other vehicles. By this way traffic jam is being reduced from the city or country. Another noticeable impact of online shopping is saving valuable moment and diminish the pollution causes. For instance, if individuals do not go to the shopping centre for buying products by using vehicles, that term pollution will be automatically removed from the country as well as people can save their term because they can use online shopping instead of going mall. On the one hand, there are several opportunities of online shopping, one of the most noteworthy benefits of this is job facilities for a large number of people. Currently, many employees can work from home, which was unimaginable in the past. For instance, freelance, web designer, web developer and online supervisor are newly introduced works. On the other hand, a significant percentage of workers were forced to leave their jobs because of the newly specifications required in jobs which causes a kind of miss. In conclusion, despite of some demerits, online shopping has brought an outstanding opportunity in our work place. Also online shopping has decreased pollution problems and traffic jam from our country.
In recent days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has become an effortless task, without going to the mall or expending too much hour searching for specific items. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what you want exactly with one click via the internet. This essay will explore the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on the environment and the types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
needed.

Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is becoming popular in over the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Shopping
using the internet has a remarkable influence on the environment. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the traffic jam.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
any stuff via the internet without going market by private car or other vehicles. By this way traffic jam is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
from the city or country. Another noticeable impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is saving valuable moment and diminish the pollution causes.
For instance
, if individuals do not go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
for buying products by using vehicles, that term pollution will be
automatically
removed from the country
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can save their term
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
instead
of going mall.

On the one hand, there are several opportunities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, one of the most noteworthy benefits of this is job facilities for
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home, which was unimaginable in the past.
For instance
, freelance, web designer, web developer and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
supervisor are
newly
introduced works.
On the other hand
, a significant percentage of workers
were forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
newly
specifications required in jobs which causes a kind of miss.

In conclusion
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has brought an outstanding opportunity in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
has decreased pollution problems and traffic jam from our country.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Online shopping is significantly increasing. What effects does this have on the environment and the types of jobs required? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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