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One of your friend is going to take a year off to travel before he or she enters university. Do you think it's a good idea and why? Use specific reasons to support your response. v.1

One of your friend is going to take a year off to travel before he or she enters university. Do you think it's a good idea and why? Use specific reasons to support your response. v. 1
Since the beginning of the industrial revolution in previous centuries and the globalization of the western world in the last few decades, the consumption of fossil fuels has increased exponentially, so that, people the world over claim that finding another source of power is of the utmost importance. I tend to agree with this premise. It is a well known fact that our entire industry rely heavily on the power supplied by fossil fuels. It is similarly known that oil, gas, coal and all other forms of said fuel are both highly disruptive to our planet and also a resource of insufficient amount, likely to run out by the end of the century. Taking those two concepts into account, it is unfathomable that we still rely so heavily on materials that will either run out or pollute earth to the point of making it uninhabitable. Take the weather, for example, since the new millennia, we have seen an increase in average temperatures all over the world, record breaking tornado's and monsoons and melting glaciers larger than American cities. Expert opinion blames the human industry and especially the burning of fossil fuels for this predicament. Another example worth mentioning is Al Gore's documentary on the state of our planet, which I believe was extremely accurate and persuasive. Furthermore, knowing that developing an alternative is neither easy nor cheap, I believe that the search should be orchestrated by a global party, looking after the interest of our planet and not by the private sector whose sole interest is a financial one. An example of a global endeavour of such magnitude can be seen in health as the inception of the World Health Organization revolutionised the way we provide care around the world. In conclusion, decreasing the need of fossil fuel is an extremely important assignment that should be on every person's agenda. Unfortunately, it can only be done by locating a different source of energy, hence the importance of a global effort that can save our planet.
Since the beginning of the industrial revolution in previous centuries and the globalization of the western
world
in the last few decades, the consumption of
fossil
fuels
has increased
exponentially
,
so
that,
people
the
world
over claim that finding another source of power is of the utmost importance. I tend to
agree
with this premise.

It is a well known fact that our entire industry rely
heavily
on the power supplied by
fossil
fuels
. It is
similarly
known that oil, gas, coal and all other forms of said
fuel
are both
highly
disruptive to our
planet
and
also
a resource of insufficient amount, likely to run out by the
end
of the century. Taking those two concepts into account, it is unfathomable that we
still
rely
so
heavily
on materials that will either run out or pollute earth to the point of making it uninhabitable. Take the weather,
for example
, since the new millennia, we have
seen
an increase in average temperatures all over the
world
,
record breaking
tornado's and monsoons and melting glaciers larger than American cities. Expert opinion blames the human industry and
especially
the burning of
fossil
fuels
for this predicament. Another example worth mentioning is Al Gore's documentary on the state of our
planet
, which I believe was
extremely
accurate and persuasive.

Furthermore
, knowing that developing an alternative is neither easy nor
cheap
, I believe that the search should
be orchestrated
by a global party, looking after the interest of our
planet
and not by the private sector whose sole interest is a financial one. An example of a global
endeavour
of such magnitude can be
seen
in health as the inception of the
World
Health Organization
revolutionised
the way we provide care around the world.

In conclusion
, decreasing the need of
fossil
fuel
is an
extremely
important
assignment that should be on every person's agenda. Unfortunately, it can
only
be done
by locating a
different
source of energy,
hence
the importance of a global effort that can save our
planet
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay One of your friend is going to take a year off to travel before he or she enters university. Do you think it's a good idea and why? Use specific reasons to support your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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