Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

One of the most challenge problems in modern society is to have the most up-to-date skills for workplace. For solving this, government decides to give all adults over the age of 25 a training course to learn new skills. Do you think it is an effective way v.2

One of the most challenge problems in modern society is to have the most up-to-date skills for workplace. For solving this, government decides to give all adults over the age of 25 a training course to learn new skills. Do you think it is an effective way v. 2
The issue of whether the government should devote financial support to train adults the most up- to- date skills aroused much controversy among people of different ages and different perspectives. Definitely, some people, if were asked would agree with the statement that allocating financial support for training people up-to-date skills is useful for society, while others have a negative attitude toward this point of view. As far as I am concerned, I am in agreement with the latter group. In the following paragraph, I will shed light on the arguments to support my view. The first vital point to be mentioned is that this scheme needs a large amount of money which is not wise in this critical situation of my country. In recent years our country confronts enormous serious issues like poverty which has influenced people’s lives considerably. According to the latest statistic results, approximately half of the population are suffering from absolute poverty which results in many problems such as malnutrition and escalating the rate of many diseases. As a result, dealing with this issue should be the most priority. If the government want to allocate budget for some unnecessary plans, there would not remain sufficient money for this essential purpose. For instance, the government should spend monetary aid every month to every family. This money would help them to pay for basic needs like healthy food and their health insurance to cope with these unwanted problems. In approaching this issue, apart from the reason given above, another reason that deserves some words is that training the employees is their company or organization where they are work. in fact, if these companies want to make more profit they should pay the expenses and this issue has not related to the government. In this competitive world, most of the enterprise know about the important of up-dating their worker' s skills, due to this, they force employees to engage in workshops to be trained by specialists the latest knowledge and skills. If the government is concern about this issue, they can establish some potent rules to push all employers to send their workers to the workshops to be taught up-to-date skills, with this approach government does not need spending any money toward this issue. By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments that explored above, I am of the opinion that the government should consider this budget for solving vital problems like poverty. Moreover, nowadays, companies know about the importance of up-dating in their field, therefore, the government does not need to support this plan.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should devote financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to train adults the most up- to- date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
aroused much controversy among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives. Definitely,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, if
were asked
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that allocating financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
for training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
up-to-date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is useful for society, while others have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude toward this point of view. As far as I
am concerned
, I am in agreement with the latter group. In the following paragraph, I will shed light on the arguments to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
my view.

The
first
vital point to
be mentioned
is that this scheme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which is not wise in this critical situation of my country. In recent years our country confronts enormous serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
like poverty which has influenced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
considerably
. According to the latest statistic results, approximately half of the population are suffering from absolute poverty which results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems such as malnutrition and escalating the rate of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases.
As a result
, dealing with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
should be the most priority. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
want to allocate budget for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unnecessary plans, there would not remain sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for this essential purpose.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend monetary aid every month to every family. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to pay for basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
like healthy food and their health insurance to cope with these unwanted problems.

In approaching this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, apart from the reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
above, another reason that deserves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words is that training the employees is their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
or organization where they are work.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
fact, if these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more profit they should pay the expenses and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
has not related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. In this competitive world, most of the enterprise know about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of up-dating their
Possible spelling mistake found.
worker&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, due to this, they force employees to engage in workshops to
be trained
by specialists the latest knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is concern about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, they can establish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to push all employers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their workers to the workshops to
be taught
up-to-date
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, with this approach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
spending any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
toward this issue.

By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments that explored above, I am of the opinion that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should consider this budget for solving vital problems like poverty.
Moreover
, nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
know about the importance of up-dating in their field,
therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
this plan.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay One of the most challenge problems in modern society is to have the most up-to-date skills for workplace. For solving this, government decides to give all adults over the age of 25 a training course to learn new skills. Do you think it is an effective way v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
426 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts