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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should choose a job that is similar to what parents did. v.677

Young people should choose a job that is similar to what parents did. v. 677
As some people may hold the view that the pursuing the parent' s occupation is better than the trying new one; however, some others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that the young people should choose the different jobs from their fathers' . I personally agree with the second option. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most outstanding reasons which persuade me to put forward this perspective. The first exquisite reason which advocates my idea is that the offspring possess various attitudes in the compere with their parents; in addition, it is lucidly obvious that an appropriate carrier should be opted in the sake of the attitudes and abilities. Thus, if the parents' jobs do not fit with the children' s capabilities and features, they will not have the opportunity to become the successful businessmen. A vivid example can be given to shed light on the subject is my brother’s example. He is very talented in the mathematics and his main desire is to become an engineer. However, my father forced him to continue his carrier based upon my father' s job. Consequently, he faced a lot of financial crisis. The second reason is the chance of the independency experience. As the young people work with their father in the same environment, they own their parents' supports in all condition. As a matter of facts, their fathers' parental cares force them to advocate their unsophisticated and naive children in all aspect of his job and its duties. In this scenario, the young people do not have the opportunity of the self-independency. Thus, they will not have the chance to face real difficulties and enhance their experiences and knowledge and become the mature businessmen. The last reason which confirms the accuracy of my perspective is that the demand of the society for jobs changes during the time. According to the noteworthy intelligible research in my country, in all new-developed countries the requirement for new carrier alters in each thirty years. Hence, based upon this estimation, the social needs for novel occupation emerge in each generation; indeed, if a job is profitable in last thirty years ago, there will be no guarantees for its success in the next thirty years. To wrap it up, all aforementioned reasons and examples lead to conclusion that the young individuals don not have to pursue their fathers' tasks. There some reasons such as the different attitude, lake of the self-independency, and the various job requirements in the life which adhere the truth of my idea.
As
some
people
may hold the view that the pursuing the
parent&
#039; s occupation is better than the trying new one;
however
,
some
others may take an opposite viewpoint and believe that the
young
people
should choose the
different
jobs
from their
fathers&
#039;
.
I
personally
agree
with the second option. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the most outstanding
reasons
which persuade me to put forward this perspective.

The
first
exquisite
reason
which advocates my
idea
is that the offspring possess various attitudes in the
compere
with their
parents
;
in addition
, it is
lucidly
obvious that an appropriate carrier should
be opted
in the sake of the attitudes and abilities.
Thus
, if the
parents&
#039;
jobs
do not fit with the
children&
#039; s capabilities and features, they will not have the opportunity to become the successful businessmen. A vivid example can be
given
to shed light on the subject is my brother’s example. He is
very
talented in the mathematics and his main desire is to become an engineer.
However
, my
father
forced him to continue his carrier based upon my
father&
#039; s
job
.
Consequently
, he faced
a lot of
financial crisis.

The second
reason
is the chance of the
independency
experience. As the
young
people
work with their
father
in the same environment, they
own
their
parents&
#039; supports in all condition. As a matter of facts, their
fathers&
#039; parental cares force them to advocate their unsophisticated and naive children in all aspect of his
job
and its duties. In this scenario, the
young
people
do not have the opportunity of the
self-independency
.
Thus
, they will not have the chance to face real difficulties and enhance their experiences and knowledge and become the mature businessmen.

The last
reason
which confirms the accuracy of my perspective is that the demand of the society for
jobs
changes
during the time. According to the noteworthy intelligible research in my country, in all new-
developed countries
the requirement for new carrier alters in each thirty years.
Hence
, based upon this estimation, the social needs for novel occupation emerge in each generation;
indeed
, if a
job
is profitable in last thirty years ago, there will be no guarantees for its success in the
next
thirty years.

To wrap it up, all aforementioned
reasons
and examples lead to conclusion that the
young
individuals
don not
have to
pursue their
fathers&
#039; tasks. There
some
reasons
such as the
different
attitude, lake of the
self-independency
, and the various
job
requirements in the life which adhere the truth of my
idea
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay Young people should choose a job that is similar to what parents did. v. 677

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
423 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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