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One of the consequences of improves medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you thing the advantages of this development is outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

One of the consequences of improves medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you thing the advantages of this development is outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Technology has revolutionised the way of our life. The advent of technology has improved many sectors for a business to a medicens. Hospitals and clinics have also implemented new technology in their field to provide a good healthy treatments. People are living more longer than in the past and life circle is improving day by day. Firstly, by implementing a high tech machinary in health care such as hospitals, clinics and pharmacy have seen major improvement in human life. Doctors operate in advanced machine and aware of current problems and prescribe good effective madicens as well as nuteration. By careful diet plan patient become more healthier than before. For example, my friend had a bad stomach pain and acidity. Doctor acknowledged her the causes and wrote a madicens as well as a good healthy diet plan. By this experience she will be more care full in the future. Secondly, people are becoming more aware of their health by the internet. Many gyms and recreational centre have opened in my town in the last decade. To stay active and fit people prefer to do various kind of exercise and follow a good diet plan. For example, there are more than 4 gyms in my town, besides nuteriation clinic is also available while in the past there was only one gym with very old machines. People who practice a healthy life style they live longer than ordinary people. In conclusion, I firmly believe that by improvement in health care centres provide myriad of benefits to human and there are lot of advantages of it.
Technology has
revolutionised
the way of our
life
. The advent of technology has
improved
many
sectors for a business to a
medicens
. Hospitals and clinics have
also
implemented new technology in their field to provide a
good
healthy
treatments
.
People
are living
more longer
than in the past and
life
circle is improving day by day.

Firstly
, by implementing a high tech
machinary
in health care such as hospitals, clinics and pharmacy have
seen
major improvement in human
life
. Doctors operate in advanced machine and aware of
current
problems and prescribe
good
effective
madicens
as well
as
nuteration
. By careful diet plan patient become
more healthier
than
before
.
For example
, my friend had a
bad
stomach pain and acidity. Doctor acknowledged her the causes and wrote a
madicens
as well
as a
good
healthy diet plan. By this experience she will be more care full in the future.

Secondly
,
people
are becoming more aware of their health by the internet.
Many
gyms and recreational
centre
have opened in my town in the last decade. To stay active and fit
people
prefer to do various kind of exercise and follow a
good
diet plan.
For example
, there are more than 4 gyms in my town,
besides
nuteriation
clinic is
also
available while in the past there was
only
one gym with
very
old
machines.
People
who practice a healthy
life
style they
live
longer than ordinary
people
.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that by improvement in health care
centres
provide myriad of benefits to human and there are
lot of
advantages of it.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay One of the consequences of improves medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you thing the advantages of this development is outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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