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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.21

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages. v. 21
One of the major impact of better medical facilities, is that mortality rate has increased and individuals are living longer than olden times. This essay disagrees that the advantages of this improvement are on the higher side as compared to the disadvantages. The below paragraphs will discuss both the aspects in detail. First and foremost, increased lifespan will result in competition in all the areas. In other words, there will high level of rivalry in the business sector, job markets, share markets, education sector and so on. If that happens, it can be predicted that there would be a major breakdown in the economy of the country in a couple of years. Second, the population will increase at a tremendous scale leading to the disaster of the nature. For example, cutting of trees and eradication of wildlife will create imbalance on the planet and result in global warming, and other natural calamities. On the other hand, with increased lifespan researchers who work as scientists or doctors will have ample of time to give new inventions and cure of diseases to the world. Additionally, elderly people can try different careers. For instance, a retired teacher can take cooking as a new career and start a hotel or a cafe for financial support. In conclusion, after analysing the benefits and setbacks, it is clear that increased life expectancy of the humans would account for negative impact in other sectors and thus not lead to the development of the world. This essay proves that the advantages are on the lower side, and hence does not exceed the disadvantages.
One of the major impact of better medical facilities, is that mortality rate has
increased
and individuals are living longer than olden times. This essay disagrees that the advantages of this improvement are on the higher side as compared to the disadvantages. The below paragraphs will discuss both the aspects in detail.

First
and foremost,
increased
lifespan will result in competition in all the areas. In
other
words, there will high level of rivalry in the business sector, job markets, share markets, education sector and
so
on. If that happens, it can
be predicted
that there would be a major breakdown in the economy of the country in a couple of years. Second, the population will increase at a tremendous scale leading to the disaster of the nature.
For example
, cutting of trees and eradication of wildlife will create imbalance on the planet and result in global warming, and
other
natural calamities.

On the
other
hand, with
increased
lifespan researchers who work as scientists or doctors will have ample of time to give new inventions and cure of diseases to the world.
Additionally
, elderly
people
can try
different
careers.
For instance
, a retired teacher can take cooking as a new career and
start
a hotel or a
cafe
for financial support.

In conclusion
, after
analysing
the benefits and setbacks, it is
clear
that
increased
life expectancy of the humans would account for
negative
impact in
other
sectors and
thus
not lead to the development of the world. This essay proves that the advantages are on the lower side, and
hence
does not exceed the disadvantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages. v. 21

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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