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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.22

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 22
For some time now, it has been a famous discussion about whether advancements in health care have more advantages or disadvantages by improving life expectancy. In my view, it's advantages outweigh the disadvantages; and in this essay, we will discuss it in detail using real-life examples to support arguments. Over the last few decades, the health care field has improved expeditiously. The hospitals are equipped with the latest high-tech machines, such as ventilators, CT scan machines and many more, to diagnose and treat the patients having numerous dangerous diseases. Not only have these improvements made doctors' job easy, but also helped improve life expectancy, and patients now have to bear fewer difficulties. Moreover, improved medications, which are easy to use, have also affected the patients' recovery time from dangerous diseases. For example, paracetamol is easily available to use for the mild fatigue. Although medical improvements have increased the life span of human kinds and that cause a burden on scarce resources, it has provided much-needed stability in all sectors of life. In old times, when medical care was not good enough, there used to be shortages of workers in industries in the times of outbreak of mere diseases such as flu and pneumonia. And, that would become a cause of economic slow-down. These medical improvements are a big source of today's surge in stock markets, improved defence systems, and not to mention improved educational systems all over the world. To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, it has been a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
discussion about whether advancements in health care have more advantages or disadvantages by improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy. In my view, it's advantages outweigh the disadvantages; and in this essay, we will discuss it in detail using real-life examples to support arguments.

Over the last few decades, the health care field has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improved
expeditiously
. The hospitals
are equipped
with the latest high-tech machines, such as ventilators, CT scan machines and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more, to diagnose and treat the patients having numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have these improvements made doctors' job easy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy, and patients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bear fewer difficulties.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improved
medications, which are easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the patients' recovery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases.
For example
, paracetamol is
easily
available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for the mild fatigue.

Although medical improvements have increased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
span of human kinds and that cause a burden on scarce resources, it has provided much-needed stability in all sectors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, when medical care was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be shortages of workers in industries in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
of outbreak of mere diseases such as flu and pneumonia. And, that would become a cause of economic slow-down. These medical improvements are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
source of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's surge in stock markets,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improved
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
systems, and not to mention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improved
educational systems all over the world.

To summarize
, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to
properly
give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot
be supported
. After thorough analysis on this subject, it
is predicted
that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects, and
because of this
, classroom teachers will never
be substituted
for technology.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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