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one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v.11

one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 11
Medical science has developed every second. as a result, it can influence the surgical methods and drugs and person's longevity and life expectancy are affected. In my idea, enlargement of the elderly population has pros and cons, but the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I will elaborate on the reasons for my opinions. Increasing lifespan doesn't mean that all of them remain healthy. Yet, it means that society needs more medical care departments and professional care givers, because about half of them have health problems. As a consequence, the regime must spend more money and educate more nursing staff in order to manage community well. on the other hand, increased life expectancy has indispensable impact on the individual, their family and the government. Nobody likes to die soon and wants to live longer because they want to experience and see more places and things that have been happening to them. Also their families will be happy if they see them alive and healthy. Of course, elders can share their experience with young adults and support them whenever they feel exhausted or depressed. Moreover, government can use the as a counsellor or supporters for future planning and use their information and take taxes for the reason of nursing and medical facilities that have been provided. In conclusion, medical science is improving and affecting lifespan. So population may grow too large and the regime should prepare more hospitals, doctors and Medicare systems. But this drawbacks won't over counter the disadvantages. Because themselves, their families and the government are more important than property or medical systems.
Medical
science has developed every second.
as
a result, it can influence the surgical methods and drugs and person's longevity and life expectancy are
affected
. In my
idea
, enlargement of the elderly population has pros and cons,
but
the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. I will elaborate on the reasons for my opinions.

Increasing lifespan doesn't mean that all of them remain healthy.
Yet
, it means that society needs more
medical
care departments and professional care givers,
because
about half of them have health problems. As a consequence, the regime
must
spend more money and educate more nursing staff in order to manage community well.

on
the other hand, increased life expectancy has indispensable impact on the individual, their family and the
government
. Nobody likes to
die
soon
and wants to
live
longer
because
they want to experience and
see
more places and things that have been happening to them.
Also
their families will be happy if they
see
them alive and healthy.
Of course
, elders can share their experience with young adults and support them whenever they feel exhausted or depressed.
Moreover
,
government
can
use
the as a
counsellor
or supporters for future planning and
use
their information and take taxes for the reason of nursing and
medical
facilities that have
been provided
.

In conclusion
,
medical
science is improving and affecting lifespan.
So
population may grow too large and the regime should prepare more hospitals, doctors and Medicare systems.
But
this
drawbacks won't over counter the disadvantages.
Because
themselves, their families and the
government
are more
important
than property or
medical
systems.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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