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Nowadays, children watch TV more than they did in the past. What are the reasons? Give solution. v.1

Nowadays, children watch TV more than they did in the past. What are the reasons? Give solution. v. 1
In this era, kids have developed more interest in watching televisions than before. The major reason behind this is the availability of a wide range of channels of their interests. However, to solve this problem parents can encourage their offsprings to take part in outdoor games to limit the access of television channels. To begin with, the fundamental cause behind children's fantasy about television is the abundance of shows that regularly broadcasted on television electronic equipments. To enhance the business, every year different company launch a variety of serials in the market according to the interest of infants. The reporters, Hindustan revealed that, in a few years, the number of Infant shows like Cartoon Network, Hungama, Pogo, et cetera had increased at larger extent than other fields of interests. Owing to limitless programmes, children always curious about about watching them. On the other hand, parents should boost up their kids to take part in outdoor activities by limiting the access to TV programmes. Similarly, this measure can be possible by awaring their children about negative impacts of watching cartoons or series, for a long run, on their health. It is exemplified that parents play an important role in creating the interest of their children, parents involved in outdoor activity helped their offsprings to limited the time of watching television broadcasting channels and these children have become more active in other outdoor activities. In conclusion, modern generation children have more interest in watching television than years before. The main reason behind this curiosity is the abundant amount of TV shows and programs broadcasted by various channels and to solve this problem, parents can help their children to enhance their interest in the outdoor games awaring them about side effects of the watching television for the long hours.
In this era, kids have developed more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The major reason behind this is the availability of a wide range of channels of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
.
However
, to solve this problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can encourage their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
games to limit the access of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
channels.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the fundamental cause behind children's fantasy about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is the abundance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
regularly
broadcasted on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
electronic equipments. To enhance the business, every year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
launch a variety of serials in the market according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
of infants. The reporters, Hindustan revealed that, in a few years, the number of Infant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
like Cartoon Network,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hungama
, Pogo,
Possible spelling mistake found.
et cetera
had increased at larger extent than other fields of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
. Owing to limitless
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
always curious
Possible typo: you repeated a word
about about
watching them.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should boost up their kids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
activities by limiting the access to TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
Similarly
, this measure can be possible by
Possible spelling mistake found.
awaring
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of watching cartoons or series, for a long run, on their health. It
is exemplified
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in creating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
activity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
Did you mean "to limit"?
to limited
the time of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
broadcasting channels and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have become more active in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
activities.

In conclusion
, modern generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
than years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The main reason behind this curiosity is the abundant amount of TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and programs broadcasted by various channels and to solve this problem,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to enhance their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoor
games
Possible spelling mistake found.
awaring
them about side effects of the watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for the long hours.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, children watch TV more than they did in the past. What are the reasons? Give solution. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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