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ome people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

ome people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. v. 1
A minority of the population argue that the only need for studying an unfamiler tongue is for travelling or working in a new state. Whereas, the rest of the society believes that there are other purposes for an individual to gain a new language. On the one hand, the sole purpose of studying hard is to earn money in the future and to develop a good relationship. Moreover, if an individual finds it difficult to get a job, they would defintely choose to work abroad, despite the difficulties in leaning the new regulations and customs. For example, a survey conducted by the education department of Srilanka revealed that, nearly 80% of the people said that the need to work abroad is the major reason for learning a new tongue. In addition, most of the products produced in foreign nations in the past are available in every country and therefore, shopping is not a significant cause for this argument. In addition, if it is assumed that there are no other purposes other than work to affect this scenario, tourism is the best way to spend the money earned on the people’s own country. In contrast, tertiary education is vital in determining a student’s career, but the lack of standard of education in their birth place would cause them to migrate to other states to gain extra knowledge. Furthermore, medical care and worshipping their gods are other reasons for studying a new language. For example, Arabic is not needed in Srilanka for either work or education, but the piligrims travelling to Saudi Arabia require this extra language to fulfil their beliefs. Scientists have also reported that working out an unfamiliar tongue helps boost every nook and corner of the brain, eventually increasing the overall brain activity of a child. In conclusion, even though some people support that travelling and working are the main reasons, I personally believe that there are other purposes like education, medical care, religious needs that require a person to gain a new language.
A minority of the population argue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need for studying an
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfamiler
tongue is for travelling or working in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
state. Whereas, the rest of the society believes that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
for an individual to gain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language.

On the one hand, the sole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
of studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
is to earn money in the future and to develop a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationship.
Moreover
, if an individual finds it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job, they would
Possible spelling mistake found.
defintely
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
abroad, despite the difficulties in leaning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
regulations and customs.
For example
, a survey conducted by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
department of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Srilanka
revealed that,
nearly
80% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
said that the need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
abroad is the major reason for learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
tongue.
In addition
, most of the products produced in foreign nations in the past are available in every country and
therefore
, shopping is not a significant cause for this argument.
In addition
, if it
is assumed
that there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to affect this scenario, tourism is the best way to spend the money earned on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
contrast, tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is vital in determining a student’s career,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the lack of standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in their birth place would cause them to migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
states to gain extra knowledge.
Furthermore
, medical care and
Possible spelling mistake. 'worshipping' is British English.
worshipping
their gods are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reasons for studying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language.
For example
, Arabic is not needed in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Srilanka
for either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
piligrims
travelling to Saudi Arabia require this extra language to fulfil their beliefs. Scientists have
also
reported that working out an unfamiliar tongue
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
boost every nook and corner of the brain,
eventually
increasing the
overall
brain activity of a child.

In conclusion
,
even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support that travelling and working are the main reasons, I
personally
believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purposes
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, medical care, religious needs that require a person to gain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay ome people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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